How Should A Christian Respond When Someone Owes Them Money?

Jun 18, 2025

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“The wicked borrow but do not pay back, but the righteous is generous and gives.” – Psalm 37:21

When someone owes you money and doesn’t repay it, emotions can run high—frustration, hurt, and even resentment. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or fellow believer, unpaid debt can strain even the strongest relationships. So, how should we respond when repayment never comes? Let’s explore that together.

Start with Compassion

It’s natural to assume the worst when someone avoids repaying a debt. But Scripture calls us to pause and lead with understanding.

“Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” – Proverbs 14:29

The person who owes you might be experiencing genuine hardship, such as job loss, medical emergencies, or family struggles. Begin by asking how they’re doing. Show empathy. Offer flexibility, if possible, such as a revised payment plan. This can foster honest dialogue and reflect Christ’s love in action.

Before confronting the situation, pray. Ask God for wisdom, peace, and soft hearts on both sides. When you enter the conversation with prayerful humility, your response becomes a witness, not just a reaction.

Follow Biblical Steps for Conflict

If the debtor is a fellow believer and continues to avoid the issue, Jesus outlines a redemptive process in Matthew 18:

Speak privately to them.
If unresolved, bring one or two others.
If the issue remains unresolved, involve the church leadership.

The goal isn’t shame—it’s restoration. Seek truth and preserve the relationship, creating a path forward instead of building a wall.

Should Christians Ever Take Legal Action?

In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul warns believers not to sue one another over civil matters, saying, “Why not rather be wronged?” Unity and love matter more than financial recovery. However, this doesn’t mean legal action is never appropriate.

If fraud, abuse, or serious legal injustice is involved, Romans 13 affirms that civil authorities exist to uphold justice. Seeking legal recourse in these situations may be necessary, especially if livelihoods are at stake. Just be sure your motivation is fairness, not revenge.

The Bigger Picture

Regardless of the outcome, Jesus commands us to forgive:

“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone…” – Mark 11:25

Forgiveness doesn’t ignore the debt—it chooses not to hold bitterness. Sometimes it leads to repentance; other times, it simply frees your heart.

Unpaid debt is frustrating—but temporary. Relationships, witness, and Christlike character endure. Ask not only, “How can I get this money back?” but “How can I reflect Jesus in this moment?” Generosity and forgiveness point to a Savior who forgave us when we had nothing to repay.

Want to Go Deeper?

This topic is explored further in our Faithful Steward magazine. You can receive each quarterly issue by becoming a FaithFi Partner—just $35/month or $400/year at FaithFi.com/Give. Your support helps equip more believers for faithful stewardship.

On Today’s Program, Rob Answers Listener Questions:

I'm in my 50s and want to buy a house. I have money saved for a down payment, but I'm unsure about two things. First, should I continue saving for a larger down payment or buy now with the money I have? Second, I want a mortgage, but I would like to know whether I should choose a shorter or longer mortgage term. I'm 54 years old, so I'm thinking about my timeline for paying off the mortgage.
My brother and sister had a trust together with three houses. My sister has since passed away, and my brother is still alive. The trust already has money in it, and my brother is thinking about selling one of the houses. I would like to know: Does the money from the house sale have to be returned to the trust, or can my brother keep it?
I'm about to start Social Security at my full retirement age in two months. My wife is considering taking Social Security at age 62. My question is about what happens if I pass away before her. If she's already receiving a reduced spousal benefit, will she then get 100% of my benefit at the new reduced amount, or will she be stuck with the same reduced percentage?
My wife and I have a local revocable trust with property and investments. We're considering relocating to an Illinois senior living facility. I'm concerned: Will the state have any way to access our money and property?

Resources Mentioned:

Remember, you can call in to ask your questions every workday at (800) 525-7000. Faith & Finance is also available on Moody Radio Network and American Family Radio. You can also visit FaithFi.com to connect with our online community and partner with us as we help more people live as faithful stewards of God’s resources.

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