This podcast explores the challenges of reclaiming your identity after a breakup. It discusses the impact of losing oneself in a relationship, the importance of self-discovery, and the difficulty of being alone. It also delves into the process of rebuilding through daily practices, finding moments of peace, and processing emotions through art and gratitude for support.
After a breakup, it is common to feel a sense of loss and struggle with reclaiming one's identity, as their life may have become intertwined with their partner's.
Losing oneself in a relationship can hinder personal growth and prevent individuals from exploring their own interests and values, emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself.
Deep dives
Recognizing the challenge of reclaiming identity after a breakup
After going through a breakup, it is common for individuals to feel a sense of loss and struggle with reclaiming their identity. They may have intertwined their life with their partner's, making it difficult to unravel and rediscover who they are as an individual. The breakup can also lead to questioning self-perception, as negative comments or feedback received during the relationship may linger and impact self-esteem. Many expressed feeling lost and not knowing who they are without their partner. However, a breakup can serve as an opportunity to find oneself and explore personal interests and values, ultimately leading to personal growth and self-discovery.
The impact of losing oneself in a relationship
One common theme revealed in responses was feeling like one had lost themselves in the relationship. People often focused on being the 'chill' person, sacrificing their true personality and desires to maintain the relationship. This lack of authenticity can hinder personal growth and prevent individuals from exploring their own interests and values. It is essential to recognize that being oneself and expressing true emotions is crucial in maintaining a healthy sense of identity within a relationship. By acknowledging the importance of being true to oneself, individuals can avoid losing their sense of self in future relationships.
The grief of losing the version of oneself desired in a relationship
In some cases, the desire for a relationship can overshadow the desire for personal fulfillment. Individuals may focus solely on the relationship, neglecting their own growth and sense of self. In the process, they may grieve for the version of themselves that they feel they lost by prioritizing the relationship. This pressure to conform, driven by societal expectations, can lead to a superficial or distorted sense of identity. Recognizing this dynamic is crucial for personal growth and self-discovery, as it allows individuals to break free from societal pressures and consider what truly makes them happy and fulfilled.
Challenges of a rejected identity
One of the most heartbreaking experiences is feeling rejected because of who one is as a person. This rejection can undermine one's self-worth and make it difficult to rebuild a strong sense of identity. It can lead to self-doubt and questioning one's value. It is important to remember that rejection does not define one's worth and that rebuilding a sense of self is possible. Reflecting on past behaviors and actions in relationships can provide insight into personal growth areas, but it is critical to differentiate between valid self-reflection and allowing unfair judgments to impact self-perception.
Welcome back to Own The Feels - brought to you in partnership with Love Better - where we’re doing our damnedest to help us break-up better - which means owning whatever we’re feeling and learning how to deal with it.
This week we’re talking all about how to reclaim your identity when you’ve broken up with someone you intertwined your life with.
“I think the most profound heartbreak I've felt was over the longing for a life and version of myself that I lost, because I got so caught up in being in a relationship.”
Sometimes, when you break-up with someone that you’ve shared SO much of your life with, it can not only feel like you’re losing them, but you could also feel like you’ve lost a bit of yourself. A huge part of healing is trying to find yourself again - and you totally can! Let us help you figure it out.
A huge thank you to Love Better, and everyone who gave us their stories to make these podcasts possible. If you want to know more about how to break-up better, listen to next week's episode, and head to https://www.vice.com/en/topic/love-better.
If anything you've heard in this podcast makes you think you should reach out for a little more help, please do!