#33: How Do I Impress His Parent's?

Jun 11, 2024

15:14

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Meeting your partner's parents can be a nerve-wracking experience, I get it! It doesn’t matter if you are queer or straight, there is always a level of pressure involved because you want to impress. For queer men, it can be particularly challenging. Here are some general rules of thumb!

1. Communicate with Your Partner

Before meeting your partner's parents, it's important to have a conversation with your partner about their relationship with their parents and any concerns they may have. This will give you a better understanding of what to expect and how to approach the situation. You should also discuss your own feelings and concerns, as well as your expectations for the meeting.

It's important to be on the same page with your partner, and to make sure you are both comfortable with the situation. This also brings up a question that I get asked a lot:

"What if he isn't out to his parent's and he wants to introduce me as a friend?"

There are two things I will say:

It's not you. It is very easy to feel like your partner is hiding you because they are not proud of you and that is simply not true, at least not for a lot of couples. Try to recall your coming out experience and the fears you had going into it. You partner is risking being outed by introducing you to his parents which is an indication of how much he cares about you, which brings up my second point.

Patience has it's limits. It is very important to be realistic about your limitations. If you have already gone through the process of coming out, it can be very difficult emotionally and mentally to feel like you're being pushed back in the closet. If you also feel like your partner is gaslighting you or guilt tripping you regarding your feelings, its important to take a step back a reflect on the relationship and how much you are willing to invest.

2. Be Respectful and Courteous

When meeting your partner's parents, it's important to be respectful and courteous, regardless of their opinions or beliefs. Remember, they're still your partner's parents, and it's important to show them respect and kindness. This doesn't mean you have to agree with their views or beliefs, but it's important to avoid confrontation or conflict.

3. Set Boundaries

While it's important to be respectful and courteous, it's also important to set boundaries and communicate your needs and expectations. If the conversation turns uncomfortable or inappropriate, it's important to assert yourself and redirect the conversation. You should also communicate any concerns or discomfort to your partner, and work together to address the situation.

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