German parenting prioritizes raising self-reliant children by allowing them to engage in risky play and develop necessary skills to manage risk and independence.
German parents foster independence and self-confidence in their children by gradually increasing responsibilities and involving them in household tasks, teaching essential life skills and capability.
Deep dives
German parenting culture emphasizes freedom and self-reliance
In this podcast episode, author Sarah Zaski discusses her book, 'Actung Baby,' which explores the differences in parenting culture between Germany and the United States. Zaski shares her experiences of moving to Berlin with her family and discovering that German parents give their children more freedom and independence. German kids walk to school, ride the subway alone, and even play with fire. Zaski explores why parenting culture is so different in both countries and reveals that German parents prioritize raising self-reliant children. Through interviews and personal stories, she highlights the unexpected parenting lessons she learned from living in Germany.
German playgrounds promote risk-taking and independence
One key aspect of German parenting is the emphasis on risk-taking and independence in playgrounds. German playgrounds are designed to be more challenging and offer potential dangers, such as taller structures, faster slides, and opportunities for climbing and exploration. By allowing children to engage in risky play, German parents believe that kids learn important skills to manage risk and develop their independence. Zaski shares personal anecdotes and observations about the differences between German and American playgrounds, highlighting the benefits of this approach to child development.
Teaching responsibility through gradual independence
German parents prepare their children for independence by gradually increasing their responsibilities. While American parents often exercise high levels of control and supervision, German parents offer their children freedom and opportunities to take on age-appropriate responsibilities. Zaski describes how German parents teach their kids self-reliance by allowing them to walk to school or take public transportation by themselves. German parents also involve children in household tasks like laundry and cooking, teaching them essential life skills and fostering a sense of capability and responsibility. By gradually increasing responsibilities, German parents help children develop independence and self-confidence.
Openness about difficult topics and age-appropriate education
German parents are known for their open and honest approach when discussing difficult topics with their children. They believe in providing age-appropriate education about sex, religion, death, and even the darker parts of history. Zaski highlights how German children receive comprehensive sex education, which has been linked to lower rates of teen pregnancy and HIV in Germany. By openly addressing delicate subjects, German parents empower their children with knowledge, allowing them to make informed decisions and protect themselves. Zaski suggests that more open conversations about difficult topics could benefit children's overall education and development in American society as well.
Sara Zaske visits Google to discuss her book “Achtung Baby: An American Mom on the German Art of Raising Self-Reliant Children.” When Sara Zaske moved from Oregon to Berlin with her husband and toddler, she knew the transition would be challenging, especially when she became pregnant with her second child. She was surprised to discover that German parents give their children a great deal of freedom—much more than Americans. In Berlin, kids walk to school by themselves, ride the subway alone, cut food with sharp knives, and even play with fire. German parents did not share her fears, and their children were thriving. Was she doing the opposite of what she intended, which was to raise capable children? Why was parenting culture so different in the States? Through her own family’s often funny experiences, as well as interviews with other parents, teachers, and experts, Zaske shares the many unexpected parenting lessons she learned from living in Germany. “Achtung Baby” reveals that today's Germans know something that American parents don't about raising kids with “selbstandigkeit”, or self-reliance, and provides practical examples American parents can use to give their own children the freedom they need to grow into responsible, independent adults. Originally published in February of 2018.