This book merges research in social psychology and human sexuality to shed light on sexual behavior shaped by social surroundings. It covers a wide range of topics including the number of partners in relationships, self-esteem, masochism, cross-cultural comparisons, and the impact of culture on sex drive. The authors provide insights into how societal norms and expectations influence sexual behavior.
In this book, Steven Pinker delves into the workings of the human mind, addressing questions such as why we are rational yet often irrational, how we perceive the world, and the origins of emotions, social interactions, and higher cognitive functions. Pinker synthesizes insights from cognitive science, evolutionary biology, and other fields to explain how the mind evolved to solve the problems faced by our ancestors. He discusses topics like vision, emotion, social behavior, and the mysteries of consciousness, arguing for a computational theory of mind and an adaptationist approach to evolution[2][3][5].
In 'Manhood in the Making', David D. Gilmore conducts a comprehensive cross-cultural analysis of manhood as an achieved status. The book explores how societies worldwide define and attain masculinity, often through rites of passage and cultural expectations. Gilmore argues that manhood is not a natural condition but a state that boys must strive to achieve against societal challenges.
In 'The Game', Neil Strauss chronicles his transformation from an 'average frustrated chump' (AFC) to a successful pickup artist. The book recounts his experiences living among the seduction community, learning from gurus like Mystery, and adopting the pseudonym 'Style'. Strauss shares numerous seduction techniques, his encounters with celebrities, and the psychological and social dynamics involved in the pickup artist culture. The book also explores the author's eventual realization that these techniques, while effective in picking up women, were not conducive to forming meaningful relationships.
Today on Upstream, Erik Torenberg interviews author Rob Henderson about modern romance, discussing evolutionary psychology, the attraction to dark triad men, dating apps, and practical advice for men seeking romantic partners.
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LINKS:
Why (Some) Women are Attracted to Violent Men: https://www.robkhenderson.com/p/why-some-women-are-attracted-to-violent
How to Choose a Romantic Partner: https://www.robkhenderson.com/p/how-to-choose-a-romantic-partner
Richard Wrangham’s The Goodness Paradox: https://www.amazon.com/Goodness-Paradox-Relationship-Violence-Evolution/dp/1101870907
Frans de Waal’s writings: https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/112082.Frans_de_Waal
David Gilmore’s Manhood in the Making: https://www.amazon.com/Manhood-Making-Cultural-Concepts-Masculinity/dp/0300050763
Neil Strauss’ The Game (Pickup Artists): https://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/0060554738
The Social Dimension of Sex: https://www.amazon.com/Social-Dimension-Sex-Roy-Baumeister/dp/0205324428
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X / TWITTER:
@robkhenderson
@eriktorenberg
@turpentinemedia
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HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE EPISODE:
- Evolutionary theory suggests some women may be drawn to men with dark triad personality traits (narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism) as a protective mechanism.
- Men who achieve high status among other men tend to also attract women.
- Pickup artist culture evolved from self-improvement advice to more pessimistic "black pill" incel communities.
- Basic improvements for men seeking relationships include grooming, fitness, career advancement, and creating a comfortable living space.
- Research shows the strongest correlations between couples are in education, intelligence, political beliefs, and religion.
- The effectiveness of showing vulnerability depends on how you're already perceived socially.
- There's a significant lack of relationship guidance for young people compared to abundant career advice.
- Dating preferences show more variety than expected, suggesting more opportunities than pessimistic views indicate.
"Upstream" with Erik Torenberg 
