Mandy Len Catron, a writer known for her influential Modern Love essay, shares her insights on the transformative power of the 36 questions that can lead to love. Daniel Jones, the editor of Modern Love, discusses how these questions foster intimacy and reveal emotional connections. They explore listener stories about falling in love, reflecting on the unpredictability and beauty of romantic moments. Personal anecdotes highlight the importance of vulnerability, trust, and the unique experiences that shape deep relationships.
Listeners shared diverse moments highlighting that love can be discovered in both mundane details and extraordinary experiences.
The importance of vulnerability emerged as vital for intimacy, suggesting love is cultivated through deliberate acts of connection and trust.
Deep dives
Moments of Falling in Love
Listeners shared powerful accounts of the precise moments they realized they were in love, offering a range of heartfelt and whimsical experiences. Some stories involved intimate gestures during quiet settings, while others highlighted the impact of unexpected actions, such as the warmth of a smile amidst swirling snow. Vivid descriptions painted feelings of joy and wonder, often likening the experience to being in a movie. These narratives reinforced the idea that falling in love can occur in subtle, mundane details or dramatic, magical moments alike.
The Role of Vulnerability in Love
The conversation emphasized the importance of vulnerability as a cornerstone of building true intimacy in relationships. As participants shared their moments of connection, it became clear that feelings of safety and openness often led to profound emotional bonds. The experience of participating in the 36 questions, designed to foster closeness, showcased how revealing personal thoughts and emotions can encourage deeper understanding and trust between partners. Allowing oneself to be vulnerable not only helps deconstruct barriers but also nurtures a fertile ground for love to flourish.
The Power of Intimacy Exercises
The discussion turned to a specific method for fostering love through a series of 36 intentional questions, which has become a hallmark of the Modern Love narrative. These questions encourage partners to share profound details about their lives, facilitating a meaningful exchange that can lead to falling in love. Mandy Lynn Catron's influential essay illustrated that such exercises could create a pathway into raw, emotional connections, ultimately blossoming into enduring relationships. The impact of these questions has been felt by many, prompting countless stories of lasting love founded on deeper interaction.
Reflections on Love and Commitment
Participants expressed how their experiences with love have shaped their outlook on relationships and commitment over time. Mandy's journey with her partner highlighted the evolution of their bond, demonstrating how intentions and choices play a critical role in maintaining a loving relationship. The idea that love is not merely a serendipitous occurrence but a decision to cultivate intimacy and connection resonated throughout the stories. As couples reflect on their relationships, they understand that love grows through both the magic of spontaneous moments and the deliberate acts of nurturing trust and connection.
The Modern Love team asked you to share with us the moment you knew you were falling in love, and you delivered. Your stories took us to so many places — dinner dates, subway rides, sunsets, concerts — and showed us the many shapes of love. There were so many that we could not list them all.
In this episode, we listen back to your voice messages. Then, Daniel Jones, the editor of Modern Love, joins us to discuss the “36 Questions That Lead to Love” and what they reveal about how we fall in love. And Mandy Len Catron, the writer who popularized the 36 questions in her Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” reads her essay and tells us whether she’s still in love with the same man 10 years later.
Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
Get the Snipd podcast app
Unlock the knowledge in podcasts with the podcast player of the future.
AI-powered podcast player
Listen to all your favourite podcasts with AI-powered features
Discover highlights
Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode
Save any moment
Hear something you like? Tap your headphones to save it with AI-generated key takeaways
Share & Export
Send highlights to Twitter, WhatsApp or export them to Notion, Readwise & more
AI-powered podcast player
Listen to all your favourite podcasts with AI-powered features
Discover highlights
Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode