What role does respectful communication play in maintaining a strong partnership?

Tanner underscores the vital role of nurturing and supporting relationships in the context of complex trauma recovery, advocating for deep partnerships that can weather the challenges involved. She highlights the importance of uninterrupted time for meaningful conversations and sees unresolved issues as opportunities for intimacy and growth, rather than sources of conflict. Emphasizing respectful communication, Tanner warns against external alliances that can undermine trust, advocating instead for honest, mature, and private discussions within the partnership. He stresses the balance between autonomy and interdependence, suggesting that healthy boundaries and shared values are key to a resilient relationship. By fostering both independence and interdependence, individuals can nurture a strong, balanced relationship that supports personal and mutual growth.

Key TakeAways

- Building partnerships is crucial in trauma recovery

- Addressing unresolved issues in relationships can lead to deeper intimacy and personal growth

- Respectful communication and privacy are key in maintaining a strong partnership

- Balancing autonomy and interdependence is essential for a healthy relationship

Actionable Insights

- Schedule uninterrupted time for deep conversations in relationships

- Approach unresolved issues as opportunities for deeper intimacy and growth

- Maintain respectful communication and prioritize privacy and respect in partnerships

- Balance autonomy and interdependence by setting healthy boundaries and shared ownership

Quotes: 

“It can be very reorganizing and disorienting to come to meet the human that emerges during CPTSD recovery.” — Tanner [18:26]

“What we want to do is come into this beautiful middle space where I am dependent on my partner in very healthy, intentional ways, but I’m also supported in my independent pursuits and I am granted a level of autonomy that feels right in my body.” — Tanner [21:57]

“Each partner should be able to answer, at any point in the relationship, who am I without you?” — Tanner [22:23] 

“If it’s not resolved, that means it’s going to keep coming back.” — Tanner  [23:28]