Brian is a husband, father and hugger from the Midwest.
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ZAK: Brian is from the Midwest. He works in insurance. His daughter is grown now, but when she was a little kid.
BRIAN: I noticed a funny thing. She was a pretty easy kid to raise but if she was ever upset or crying or cranky, hungry, tired...if you sat down on her level and just pulled her in for a little bit and if you'd feel her take a deep breath and she would just let go. And I thought, that's funny...Not yelling at her, not telling her to do anything. Just grab her and hold her a minute. When I would come home from work and I'd be exhausted somedays, getting home late and she'd run to the front-door and she'd hug me and I said that's a fake hug. That's a movie hug. Give me one of your real hugs and she would squeeze me as hard as she could and I would say, I can't breathe! And her response always was, try.
BRIAN: But then I recently was reading about hugs and when you hug 20-seconds or more there's actually a hormone, oxytocin. It makes you let go. It lets rest. It lets you relax. And during this pandemic, I was always a person that was gone and traveled and I've been home a lot and I have a little of this feeling. And I saw my wife getting a little bit more anxiety too and we would occasionally, just, I'd pass her in the kitchen in between calls and I'd realize, hey, that's big hug opportunity. And I'd just reach out and grab her and at first she'd be surprised but she'd hug and then she'd try to walk away and I'd say, no, it's gotta be 20-seconds. That's when you really get the full effect.
ZAK: Yeah. Do you have a name for these long hugs?
BRIAN: I call them a drive-by hug. Because I almost pass her and then I turn around and say, whoa, I missed a chance for a hug there.
ZAK: That's so sweet. Do you count to 20?
BRIAN: I actually don't count but I do it by breaths. Cause I try to take deep breaths when I do it too.
ZAK: Do you think it works on yourself if you do a self-hug? I'm thinking about folks who don't live with other people.
BRIAN: You know, I think it does.
ZAK: Can we try a 20-second self-hug?
BRIAN: Yeah, let's do it.
ZAK: I'll follow your breaths here.
ZAK: Listener feel free to breathe and hug along with us at home.
Extended Breaths.....
ZAK: I feel better. What's not to like about that? I want to thank Brian for sharing this concept of the 20-second drive-by hug with me. I've been practicing at home. You've been listening to The Best Advice Show and I want to hear your advice. How are you getting by? Lemme know on the hotline at 844-935-BEST. That's 844-935-BEST. And here's an idea. I know we can hug anyone outside of our pod right now, but maybe sending them this episode would be a nice consolation. Thanks. Talk to you soon.
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