Bened, a guest who joins the hosts to discuss parenting. They explore the shift towards intensive parenting, the impact on grandparents, and the reliance on grandparents for childcare. They also discuss the rise of different parenting approaches, the influence of parenting books, and the role of societal and economic factors on parenting. The chapter concludes with an exploration of how grandparents make ordinary activities more special for their grandchildren.
Intensive parenting is a middle-class approach that places a financial burden on parents and judges working-class parents against unaffordable standards.
Parenting has shifted from being viewed as a role to being seen as a skill, with parents expected to continuously improve their skills and buy products to enhance their children's development.
Deep dives
Intensive parenting: A shift in parenting culture
Intensive parenting is a significant shift in parenting culture, focusing on the child's physical, psychological, and cognitive needs. It involves parents seeking advice from experts and consuming products and experiences to nurture their children's skills and social capital. Intensive parenting is seen as a middle-class way of parenting, placing financial burden on parents to meet the expensive demands of this approach. Working-class parents are judged against unaffordable standards. This shift to intensive parenting is observed globally, impacting the changing role of grandmothers and their involvement in childcare.
The transformation of parenting as a skill
The shift from viewing parenting as a role to seeing it as a skill is evident in the change from 'parent' as a noun to 'parenting' as a verb. Parents are now expected to continuously improve their parenting skills and follow expert advice to ensure their children's success. Intensive parenting emphasizes buying products and enrolling children in activities to enhance their development. The pressure to excel academically and in extracurricular activities contributes to parental anxiety and a sense of needing to buy their children's success.
The impact of intensive parenting on happiness levels and societal trends
Intensive parenting has resulted in a significant economic cost for parents, with the average American child costing approximately $300,000 by the age of 18. This emphasis on consumption and the rising costs of childcare create financial stress for parents. With parents spending as much time tending to their children as stay-at-home mothers did in the 1970s, children have less independent time and are constantly supervised. The pursuit of intensive parenting has led to a decline in parental happiness. However, the Free-Range Parenting movement aims to prioritize children's independence and autonomy. Parenting techniques and the trends of intensive parenting are often influenced by socio-economic factors, with wealthier families having more resources to afford the demands of this approach.
Parenting - Laurie Taylor explores its cultural history and the shift towards intensive parenting. Andrew Bomback, Associate Professor of Medicine at Columbia University Irving Medical Center, investigates the emergence of an immersive, all-in approach to raising children that has made parenting a competitive sport. Drawing on “how-to” parenting books and historical accounts of parental duties he charts the way in which being a parent became a skill to be mastered.
They're joined by Benedetta Cappellini, who considers the impact of these social transformations on Grandmothers.
Producer: Jayne Egerton
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