Seeing Death Clearly Rebuilding Intimacy After Babyloss with Kate Carson
In this episode, Kate Carson, a love, sex, and relationship coach, shares her transformative journey from scientist to a supportive guide for couples navigating grief and intimacy. After losing her baby at eight months pregnant, she faced the impact of profound loss on her relationships and sexuality, and she soon recognized a gap in resources for others experiencing similar struggles. Kate joined a peer support group and quickly noticed the lack of guidance addressing how grief affects intimacy. Inspired, she trained in tantra, eventually shaping a coaching practice that addresses the nuanced intersection of grief, love, and intimacy for clients worldwide.
Kate reflects on society's often "sterilized" approach to death and how it limits meaningful grief rituals, leaving people disconnected from their emotions. Likewise, she explains, sexual energy—vital to human experience—is often stigmatized, creating barriers to intimacy, especially after trauma. Kate observes that unresolved trauma can lead to prolonged gaps in physical connection between partners, but she emphasizes that rebuilding intimacy is a potent form of healing. Her work reveals how open communication and vulnerability can help couples separate their pain from one another, finding new closeness as they reconnect emotionally and physically.
Kate also dives into how trauma, particularly after loss, can be stored in the body and sometimes surfaces during moments of physical intimacy. She describes this release, which can sometimes involve grief or tears during orgasm, as a cathartic response that allows people to process unspoken sorrow. Through her perspective, listeners gain insight into the profound link between physical and emotional well-being, challenging them to see sexuality as a life-affirming force even amid life's hardest moments.
Further, Kate explores the concept of "sexual healing" as a means of restoration, particularly when intimacy triggers unexpected emotional responses. She explains that supportive affirmations, like “I love you,” can foster a safe space for vulnerability and healing. She advocates for honoring the body’s boundaries after trauma, childbirth, or illness and encourages couples to find alternative ways to connect without feeling pressured.
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