Welcome to Conflict Decoded!

Hello and welcome to Conflict Decoded, where we explore the hidden dynamics that keep us stuck in conflict in our workplaces and communities and share practical guidance to help us break free. My name is Katherine Golub. I’m a coach, mediator, city councilor, activist, mother, and the founder of the Center for Callings & Courage. I live on the ancestral lands of the Pocumtuck people, recently known as Greenfield, Massachusetts. In this first episode, I want to share with you what called me to create this podcast and what you can expect from it. Why I Decided to Create this Podcast About twelve years ago, I launched my professional coaching practice with the aim of helping social changemakers prevent burnout by taking better care of themselves. However, I quickly realized that my clients were coming to me already burned out and longing to get clear about what was next in their work lives. And so, career clarity coaching with changemakers became my focus. Although I used to believe that burnout came from working too much, doing this work now for over a decade, I’ve realized that even more people burn out due to conflict and challenging interpersonal dynamics. I also discovered that by helping my clients transform workplace conflict along with other patterns that gave rise to their burnout, about half of my clients end up falling back in love with their work and deciding to stay. While I’ve been able to help hundreds of clients realign their lives with what matters most to them and, in many cases, transform their workplace conflicts, it nevertheless hurts my heart to watch so many unaddressed conflicts, fractured relationships, and ineffective interpersonal dynamics bring committed people down and derail even the most promising efforts toward change. So, after over a decade of supporting my coaching clients to heal burnout, I’ve decided to focus my work on helping changemakers transform conflict in their workplaces and communities—the root cause of so much burnout—and learn to collaborate well, even in the face of great difference and complexity. I created this podcast to learn from some of the most brilliant minds I know on the forefront of conflict transformation and to share these conversations with you. This podcast is for you if you — Work hard to do your part to bring forth a better world, in your unique way and your corner of the world. Feel drained, disheartened, frustrated, baffled at why humans can’t just get along, uncertain about how to resolve things, and worried about what might happen if you don’t figure it out. Conflict or disagreement or just a lack of effective collaboration are thwarting your efforts toward change in your workplace or community. You want to understand what’s really going on with people, regain a sense of clarity and confidence, and develop skills and structures to help you collaborate well. Value love, liberation, learning, friendship, and wholeness and long for more of each of these in your life and in the world. Here’s what I know to be true— Conflict is a crucible—an alchemical space where different elements interact to create something new. Whether we like it or not, conflict will transform us. In situations with an abundance of difference, complexity, trauma, and strong opinions—which all of us who are working toward a better world face every day— conflict is inevitable. What’s not inevitable, is how we respond to conflict. Without the right skills or support, conflict can drain our energy, undermine our efforts, burn us out, and put an end to our most promising efforts toward change. With the right support, skills, structures, and strategies, conflict can be an opportunity to see things we haven’t seen before, strengthen our relationships, and create the changes we long for. What emerges from conflict can be horrendous, or it can be amazing. When we approach conflict as an opportunity to understand ourselves and each other better, heal personal and collective trauma, let go of what no longer serves us, and develop generative ways of working together, conflict can help us grow personal and collective power and multiply our chances for making the impacts life calls us to make with more joy and ease. If we are committed to bringing forth a world rooted in love and liberation, we can’t ignore the work of learning to engage conflict well. I believe this may be our most important work. So, what to expect. I’ll be honest with you, I’ve discovered that a podcast is a big undertaking. And so, the pace with which I release each episode may fluctuate. At the beginning, I plan to release one episode a week, but that may change with time. Likewise, as I learn what’s needed to make a great podcast and what I need to make this sustainable, the format may also change a bit. In the first few months, I plan to release a lot of interviews with some of the people I respect the most when it comes to conflict transformation. I’m so excited to share with you their practical wisdom about making change at the individual, interpersonal, organizations, community, and societal levels. And, I will likely occasionally create shorter episodes with just me sharing a key practice or principle. And, you’ll hear me learning alongside you. Because even after so many years of working on myself and supporting my clients to transform conflict, I’m not immune to the hurt or confusion that can arise when things go off with other people. I’ve learned that the way to clarity and connection is much more about asking questions than it is about finding answers. And, finally, in every episode, I aim to explore the hidden dynamics that keep so many people stuck in conflict in our workplaces and communities and how we can break free. I hope very much that you’ll continue to tune in.