Have you ever wondered why it seems so hard to find a lasting, committed relationship these days? You’ve probably heard all sorts of well meaning advice from friends and family, the same cliches we all know such as “you act too desperate”, “your standards are unrealistic”, “you have to love yourself before others can love you”, “it will happen when you least expect it”, and so on.

Advice columnist Sara Eckel draws on her years of experience to dispel these cliches as myths and uses modern sociology and psychology research to explain the reality that your singlehood cannot be explained by a one sentence canned phrase and cannot be fixed by folksy wisdom. It’s Not You is a book about self-compassion, and accepting that sadness and loneliness are fundamental elements of the human experience that we need not reject and fear.

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