"I want to bulk — but I’m afraid of undoing everything"

Alex opens up about his years-long battle with performance obsession, burnout, and a hidden addiction to Adderall. What began as a drive to "get the physique" spiraled into overtraining, under-recovering, and chasing a shredded look at the cost of his mental and physical health. A serious injury and a breaking point in his personal life forced him to confront what he was running from — and how much he’d been avoiding.

Alex shares how rebuilding his relationship with food, training, and himself has given him a new mission: to pursue sustainable progress, not perfection. But that doesn’t mean the struggle is over — he's standing at the edge of his next challenge: bulking. And with it comes old fears of bloating, body image, and letting go of his abs.

This is an honest conversation about identity, control, and learning to trust the process — even when it’s uncomfortable.