714: How "Real" Is a Dad Who Denies You Exist? | Feedback Friday
Aug 19, 2022
Discover the complexities of navigating biological family relationships when a listener confronts their father, who denies their existence. Delve into the emotional impact of social media on personal connections and the concept of ambiguous loss in adoption. The conversation also touches on the importance of therapy for those grappling with anxiety in relationships and commitment fears, while humorously highlighting the need for a balanced mindset amidst the pitfalls of toxic positivity.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Limit Social Media
Limit social media use, even if it's part of your job, to improve mood and presence.
Excessive social media breeds negativity, affecting parenting and overall well-being.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Consider Father's Perspective
Consider the potential impact on your biological father's family before confronting him.
His denial might stem from shame and a desire to avoid disrupting his 50-year marriage.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Seek Therapy
Work with an adoption-competent therapist to process complex emotions and set realistic expectations.
Therapy can help navigate the grief and define goals for the potential relationship.
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Adopted and raised by a loving family, you were still curious enough to seek out your biological parents and learn their story when you reached adulthood. It turns out you were the result of a forbidden tryst between a traveling American woman and the married Australian man who briefly employed her on his farm. When you reached out, your biological mother was happy to make contact, but your biological father? Not so much. In fact, he's been "happily" married for 50 years and refuses to admit he had any part in your existence -- probably because he'd then have to confess everything to his family. Now you're conflicted. Should you just let it go, or should you fly to Australia and surprise him at his front door where he can't continue denying that you're real? We'll try to find an answer to this and more here on Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!
Should you force your biological father — who refuses to admit he had any part in your creation — to confront you in person and confess everything to the family he's had for 50 years?
Your significant other of five years refuses to acknowledge their social anxiety as a problem, but it's always used as an excuse to get out of doing things with you in public. They say they're happy to stay in -- but you're definitely not. What do you do?
Is "manifesting" just a woo-woo mental model used by successful people as an excuse to deal with the guilt of success or a way to explain their sheer luck in a cold universe that doesn't care if they live or die?
Your last two relationships ended badly and bitterly. But now that you're in your 30s and dating someone you consider to be potential marriage material, you realize you've always been a serial monogamist and never really experienced the life of a freewheeling bachelor. Is it foolish to consider losing somebody who might be "the one" just to explore what you might be missing out on?
How does Jordan retain all the information he takes in while reading and researching the work of guests ahead of interviewing them?
Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
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