Today, Explained

Are boyfriends embarrassing?

98 snips
Jan 2, 2026
Shante Joseph, a writer known for her insights on relationships, discusses her viral Vogue piece questioning the embarrassment of having a boyfriend. She explores themes like the performative nature of online relationships, privacy concerns, and how straight relationships can signal cultural alignments. Joining her is Jane Ward, a feminist studies professor who delves into the challenges and contradictions of heterosexuality, arguing for a shift toward embracing feminism as a way to improve connections. Their candid conversations spark new perspectives on love and culture.
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INSIGHT

Dating Posts Became Private Performance

  • Social media norms made posting boyfriends private or performative rather than celebratory.
  • Shante Joseph links hiding partners to branding, privacy fears, and online validation dynamics.
INSIGHT

Straight Relationships Became Political Signals

  • Some women avoid showing partners because straight relationships now signal political or cultural alignment.
  • Shante Joseph connects this to the trad-wife movement and the politicization of heterosexuality.
ANECDOTE

Viral TikToks And The West Elm Caleb Story

  • Shante Joseph recounts viral online phenomena like long TikTok confession series and 'West Elm Caleb' stories.
  • These personal examples show the collapse of romantic fantasy into public skepticism and exposure.
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