Fatherhood Field Notes Ep. 526 Eric Rogell : Drop the Nice Guy Routine and Stop Trying So Hard to be Liked
In this candid episode, host Ned Schaut sits down with author and speaker Eric Rogell to confront the trap many fathers fall into—trying to be the “nice guy” who’s always liked instead of the man who leads with courage and conviction. Eric shares why advice often misses the mark, and why children need fathers who live out wisdom through the Sacred Seven Core Values: courage, honesty, integrity, commitment, duty, honor, and love. From fatherhood and step-parenting to manhood at “Level 60,” Eric unpacks how dropping the need for approval allows dads to guide their kids with strength, presence, and authenticity. This conversation challenges men to stop chasing validation, embrace their role as mentors, and build a legacy rooted in love and honor.
Chapters:
- 00:00:00 – Welcome to Fatherhood Field Notes Podcast
- 00:01:19 – Meet Eric
- 00:03:25 – Late 50s accomplishments: writing a book, producing a documentary
- 00:04:24 – Turning point through meditation and taking command of life
- 00:06:16 – No plans to retire from purposeful work
- 00:07:28 – Untapped wisdom in older, retired men
- 00:08:29 – Difference between advice (head) and wisdom (heart)
- 00:09:47 – Using “wisdom, not advice” by sharing stories and mistakes
- 00:14:25 – Value of letting kids make mistakes: “prepare the child for the road”
- 00:16:35 – Creating healthy challenges, like running an excavator
- 00:18:44 – The Sacred Seven Core Values: Courage, Honesty, Integrity, Commitment, Duty, Honor, Love
- 00:22:26 – The “King and Kingdom” principle: care for yourself to care for family
- 00:25:42 – Navy SEAL lesson on why most commitments fail after five days
- 00:28:10 – Advice for men in the stepfather role
- 00:28:34 –Don’t try to be liked; earn respect
- 00:31:25 – Three Lights of Leadership: Friend, Guide, Guardian
- 00:38:14 – What will your kids think of you at 60?
- 00:38:58 – Complex relationship with father: once seen as villain, later as hero
- 00:42:16 – Discovering father’s generosity through stories after his passing
- 00:43:37 – Importance of a father’s attention, not just time
- 00:46:28 – It’s okay to be the “villain” when acting as guardian
Guest Link:
Links and Resources:
- Transform Your Body with Ned & RUK Fitness:
- RUK Fitness
- This episode is sponsored by The Adventure of Fatherhood
- Order The Adventure of Fatherhood children's book here
- Check out the TEDx
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