In this episode, I sit with a question that’s been quietly shaping a lot of my clinical work and personal reflection: What kind of masculinity are we actually bringing into our relationships?
Inspired by a provocative appendix from Jorge Ferrer’s Love and Freedom, I explore his contrast between the “Alpha Male” and the “Omega Man”—not as fixed identities or ideals, but as relational patterns that shape how men experience confidence, desire, power, and intimacy.
Rather than critiquing Ferrer, I use his framework as a doorway into something more personal and clinical: how masculinity often becomes organized around performance, hierarchy, and validation—and what begins to shift when it moves toward presence, self-trust, and relational safety.
Along the way, I reflect on:
Why gender language always risks essentialism—and how to hold it lightly
How these dynamics show up quietly in the therapy room
Why gentleness, empathy, aesthetics, and emotional attunement are still coded as “unmanly”
How sexuality changes when it’s no longer treated as a referendum on worth
And why masculinity doesn’t need to be defended through hardness in order to remain potent
This isn’t an episode about becoming a “better man,” or replacing one masculine ideal with another. It’s an invitation to get curious about what allows relationships—and desire—to breathe.
If you’ve ever felt alienated by hyper-masculine bravado or flattened versions of “healthy masculinity,” this conversation is for you.