Why Neurodivergent Clients Need Curiosity, Not Correction with Sabrena Ness

Aug 19, 2026

Sabrena Ness, a clinical mental health counselor and NARM Master Therapist, explores care for neurodivergent people through a trauma-informed lens. She discusses ADHD, autism, masking, shame, and the damage of being pressured to fit neurotypical norms. The conversation also covers therapist curiosity, flexible NARM pacing, authenticity, and navigating neurodivergence in couples.

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ANECDOTE

Late Diagnosis Revealed Hidden Educational Shame

Sabrena Ness received a late ADHD diagnosis after teachers described her as social and unable to remain seated.
Despite supportive schooling, she internalized shame because nobody explained that different learning could be acceptable.

INSIGHT

Defiance May Signal Nervous-System Struggle

Behavioral interventions sometimes intensified neurodivergent children’s distress instead of helping them regulate.
Curiosity revealed that behaviors labeled defiant often reflected deeper nervous-system struggles and unmet environmental needs.

INSIGHT

Transitions Expose Missing Neurodivergent Support

Neurodivergent people may struggle most during transitions when familiar structures disappear, especially after college.
Shame often reflects inadequate support and environments rather than neurodiversity itself.

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A conversation on complex trauma, ADHD, autism, masking, therapist curiosity, and providing therapy that supports authenticity instead of conformity.

Comparison is often cited as the thief of joy. For neurodivergent people, comparison is also a source of shame. Imagine receiving constant reminders that your brain doesn't respond well to, or "fit" with, the dominant societal structure. The messaging can impact self-worth and inform masking behaviors that neurotypical family members, friends, and co-workers fail to understand.

One clinician invites care providers to move away from asking "what's wrong with this client?" in favor of a more holistic line of questioning: "how does their client feel, what adaptations have they made to weather neurotypical norms, and what kind of support do they need now?"

On this episode of Transforming Trauma, host Emily Ruth is pleased to welcome Sabrena Ness, CMHC, LPC, clinical director at LifeStance Health and NARM® practitioner. Drawing on her personal and professional experiences, Sabrena shares insights from a neurodivergent perspective, namely, how the NeuroAffective Relational Model® cultivates a tempo ideal for exploring shame and other relational experiences that many neurodivergent people navigate alone.

Transforming Trauma appreciates Sabrena's continued support of neurodivergent clients and the communities that they belong to.

To read the full show notes and discover more resources, visit https://complextraumatrainingcenter.com/transformingtrauma

SPACE:

SPACE is an Inner Development Program of Support and Self-Discovery for Therapists on the Personal, Interpersonal, and Transpersonal Levels offered by the Complex Trauma Training Center. This experiential learning program offers an immersive group experience designed to cultivate space for self-care, community support, and deepening vitality in our professional role as therapists. Learn more about how to join.

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The Complex Trauma Training Center:

https://complextraumatrainingcenter.com

View upcoming trainings:

https://complextraumatrainingcenter.com/schedule/

Join us for this a transformative 2-day Intro to NARM® online workshop:

https://bit.ly/narmintro

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The Complex Trauma Training Center (CTTC) is a professional organization providing clinical training, education, consultation, and mentorship for psychotherapists and mental health professionals working with individuals and communities impacted by Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and Complex Trauma (C-PTSD). CTTC provides NARM® Therapist and NARM® Master Therapist Training programs, as well as ongoing monthly groups in support of those learning NARM. CTTC offers a depth-oriented professional community for those seeking a supportive network of therapists focused on three levels of shared human experience: personal, interpersonal & transpersonal. The Transforming Trauma podcast embodies the spirit of CTTC – best described by its three keywords: depth, connection, and heart - and offers guidance to those interested in effective, transformational trauma-informed care.

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