148: Quickie: Negotiating for Threesomes + Sex Fantasies
Sep 22, 2023
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Explore the dynamics of different desires within relationships and the art of negotiation for threesomes and sex fantasies. Delve into the Wheel of Consent and the Yes, No, Maybe framework. Discover the upcoming course on Tantra and BDSM: Alchemy. Discuss the importance of expressing desires and creating a safe space for vulnerability. Embrace your own needs and desires while fostering open communication and overcoming fear and shame in sex.
Creating a win-win situation in relationships requires open communication, negotiation, and understanding to co-create a fulfilling sex life.
Acknowledging and exploring the different parts within ourselves that hold conflicting desires and beliefs can lead to a deeper understanding and finding common ground with our partners in creating a fulfilling sex life.
Deep dives
Creating a Win-Win Situation in Relationships
In relationships, it is common for partners to have different desires and interests when it comes to sex. However, rather than approaching these differences in a black and white manner, it is important to create a win-win situation where both partners can feel fulfilled and satisfied. This requires open communication, negotiation, and understanding that compromise is not about giving up, but rather co-creating a fulfilling sex life. By identifying desires, setting boundaries, and exploring different perspectives, couples can move forward in creating the sex life they both desire.
Understanding Inner Conflicts and Parts
People have different parts within themselves that may hold conflicting desires and beliefs. Just as we have different perspectives around everyday situations, we also have parts that want different things in our sex lives. It is important to give space and voice to these parts, understanding their fears, emotions, and interpretations. By allowing each part to be seen and witnessed without judgment or rush, partners can gain a deeper understanding of one another. This process of self-reflection and curiosity can lead partners to find common ground and overcome inner conflicts.
Navigating Vulnerability and Negotiation
Asking for our desires and expressing our boundaries can be vulnerable, but it is necessary for creating a fulfilling sex life. Partners should create a safe space for open conversation and negotiation, acknowledging that both individuals have life experiences and societal beliefs that shape their perspectives on sex. It is crucial for partners to ask questions, show curiosity, and offer support without pressuring or judging one another. By understanding each other's needs and creating a collaborative plan, couples can deepen their intimacy, improve arousal, and transform their sexual experiences.
Have different desires than your lover? Does this mean that you're not compatible? Does this mean you can’t have the sex life that we desire?
Worry not, my lovers. I really believe in the power of all of us having the sex life of our dreams. ....And I also understand how threatening it can feel when our partner doesn't have the same desires that we do… Tune into this ep to hear the strategies for negotiating for threesomes and sex fantasies.
IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL HEAR:
The dynamics that emerge when your partner's desires differ from yours
The delicate art of negotiation to co-create meaningful experiences
Navigating the nuances of negotiation in scenarios involving threesomes or moresomes
The various internal aspects of ourselves, each with its own beliefs and feelings
Collaborating on plans independently of your partner's expectations
The vulnerability required to express your desires, boundaries, needs, and fantasies
Strategies for fostering a satisfying sex life that resonates with both partners
A deep dive into the Wheel of Consent, distinguishing between allowing and receiving
The fear that can arise in relationships when conflicting desires or unconventional preferences emerge
Dr. Cat's guide on the Yes, No, Maybe framework
A tantalizing look into the upcoming course exploring Tantra and BDSM: Alchemy
A discussion on the collective trauma surrounding women's sexuality being reduced to entertainment
Introducing a "play lab" with your partner, setting aside 20-30 minutes to explore new experiences
My 4-week course, ALCHEMY, is now open for enrollment. Sex Love Psychedelics: Alchemy is a four-week LIVE course, taking you through the experience of sex as psychedelic with teachings in tantra, embodiment, + BDSM. Join here. https://learn.sexloveyoga.com/alchemy
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