Afford Anything How to Talk to Your Parents About Money, with Behavioral Economist Etinosa Agbonlahor
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Aug 22, 2025 Etinosa Agbonlahor, a behavioral economist and CEO of Decision Alpha, shares insights on the complex dynamics of discussing money with parents. She introduces the concept of 'money scripts'—unconscious beliefs that shape financial behaviors. Agbonlahor emphasizes the importance of empathy, curiosity, and cooperation in these conversations, advocating for open communication about sensitive topics like debt, retirement, and long-term care. Her compelling anecdotes highlight how understanding different money mindsets can transform these discussions, making them more productive and less fraught.
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Hidden Money Scripts Shape Decisions
- Money scripts are hidden, unconscious beliefs we inherit or adopt that shape financial behavior.
- Treat your scripts as personal, not universal, to avoid assuming others share them.
Missionary Upbringing Led To No Tracking
- A doctor raised in a missionary household assumed 'God will provide' and never tracked money.
- Once wealthy, she couldn't explain where earnings went until they traced this inherited belief.
Trauma Turned Into Extreme Frugality
- A single mother who was abandoned became hyper-frugal and denied her teen expensive shoes out of fear of future scarcity.
- Years later she realized the thriftiness was a trauma response aimed at protecting her daughters.
