Cancel Club with Sam Cat: Polyamory and Cancel Culture
Sep 18, 2023
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Sexuality and polyamory educator, Sam Cat, discusses the impact of cancel culture on navigating polyamory, conflict, mismatched relationship styles, sex negativity, and the lack of representation in non-monogamy. They also explore the challenges of being figureheads for non-monogamy, setting expectations in relationships, contradictory perspectives on sexuality in the progressive queer social justice movement, and challenging stereotypes in relationships and finding sexual agency.
Cancel culture affects polyamorous communities through blacklisting and the pressure to conform to certain relationship structures.
Taking responsibility for emotional well-being and seeking support is crucial for navigating the challenges of polyamorous relationships.
Embracing personal agency and understanding individual boundaries is essential in creating a more inclusive environment within non-monogamous communities.
Deep dives
The Challenges of Cancel Culture in Polyamory
The intersection of polyamory and cancel culture is discussed in this podcast episode. The hosts share personal experiences and talk about the complexities and challenges faced by individuals in polyamorous relationships. They explore how cancel culture can affect polyamorous communities, including instances of blacklisting, judgments, and the pressure to conform to certain relationship structures. The conversation highlights the need for nuance and open dialogue when discussing polyamory and cancel culture to avoid blanket assumptions and unfair judgments.
Navigating Distress in Polyamorous Relationships
The podcast episode delves into the emotional challenges and distress that can arise in polyamorous relationships. The hosts share personal experiences of feeling overwhelmed and dysregulated in non-monogamous dynamics. They discuss the importance of acknowledging and understanding the differences between the theory and practice of non-monogamy. The discussion emphasizes the need for individuals to take responsibility for their emotional well-being, communicate their needs clearly, and seek support from therapists or peer mentors to navigate the complexity of emotions in polyamorous relationships.
Polyamory, Cancel Culture, and Personal Agency
The podcast episode explores the concept of personal agency within polyamorous relationships and addresses the misconception that partners are obligated to meet all emotional needs. The hosts challenge the idea that unmet emotional needs are inherently abusive and emphasize the importance of individual responsibility and boundary setting. They encourage individuals to embrace personal agency in navigating their own emotional needs and seek support from various sources, including therapists and community engagement, rather than placing the burden solely on their partners.
The Importance of Nuance in Non-monogamous Communities
The podcast episode highlights the significance of nuance and understanding within non-monogamous communities. The hosts discuss the potential for cancel culture dynamics to arise due to conflicting beliefs, misunderstandings, and differing relationship structures. They emphasize the need to move away from the idea of a one-size-fits-all relationship model and instead embrace individual agency and personal choices. The conversation encourages open dialogue and mutual respect to foster a more inclusive environment within non-monogamous communities.
The Challenges of Monogamy and Attachment
The podcast episode explores the challenges and misconceptions surrounding monogamy and attachment in relationships. It delves into the idea that expecting one partner to fulfill all of our needs stems from a lack of maturing from childhood to adulthood. The speaker emphasizes the importance of developing independence and building multiple attachment relationships for emotional regulation. The episode also discusses the impact of societal factors, such as limited opportunities for co-regulation and an alienated environment, on people's ability to form secure attachments.
Contradictions in Sexuality and Cancel Culture
The podcast episode highlights the contradictions in the portrayal and perception of sexuality, particularly in progressive queer social justice circles. It discusses the simultaneous valorization and puritanical attitudes towards sex and how this leads to a complicated relationship with sexuality. The episode also explores the impact of cancel culture on relationships, where conflict is recast as abuse and the fear of being canceled can lead to a preemptive strike mentality. The speaker emphasizes the importance of restraint, time, and seeking support to navigate conflicts and complexities in relationships.
In Episode 55 we have a conversation with Sam Cat of Shrimp Teeth about the intersections of cancel culture and polyamory. Sam Cat is a sexuality, polyamory, and relationship educator out of the United States who has long taken a stance against cancel culture. She discusses the impact cancel culture is having on her clients as they navigate polyamory and try to do it ‘right.’ We talk about conflict, mismatched relationship style preferences, sex negativity, and why cancel culture is bad for polyamory.
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