Feminist Wellness Tenderoni Hotline #8: From Self-Abandonment to Self-Love: Ending Emotional Outsourcing with Mary Jelkovsky
Tenderoni Hotline #8: This week on Feminist Wellness, I’m joined by the wise and wonderful Mary Jelkovsky, author, podcast host, and founder of Mary’s Cup of Tea, for a deep and playful conversation on healing emotional outsourcing, letting go of perfectionism, and reclaiming your self-worth. We explore how so many of us were conditioned to earn love by being agreeable, productive, or self-sacrificing, especially those of us who are eldest daughters, children of immigrants, or socialized as women in patriarchal systems.
Together, we unpack the invisible pressure to be “good” and how it robs us of self-trust, the link between people-pleasing and nervous system dysregulation, and the cultural and generational stories that shape codependency and first-gen expectations. We talk about how to stop managing other people’s feelings and come back to your own, how projection shows up in relationships, and the power of presence work in interrupting old survival patterns.
You’ll laugh, reflect, and walk away with new insights into how emotional outsourcing shows up in your life and what it truly means to begin choosing you.
Order your copy of End Emotional Outsouring here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/
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Check out Mary’s podcast: Mary’s Cup of Tea: www.maryscupoftea.com
Mentioned in this episode:
Save Your Spot for 12 Days to End Emotional Outsourcing!
12 Days to End Emotional Outsourcing is my free, live daily program that I’m teaching from December 15th 2025 to the 26th. This is where you’ll learn how to help your nervous system stop scanning everyone else so you can start hearing you again. Save your spot here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/twelve