Susan Cain: The 'Quiet' Author On Free Falling Through Her Early 30s, Plus Why She Married An Extrovert

The Alonement podcast is back! And for the first episode of this season, I’m speaking to one of the most-requested guests since the show began: Susan Cain. Susan is the author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, a book which spent eight years on the New York bestseller list after its publication in 2012. The book was inspired by her former career as a Wall Street lawyer, a profession where she came face-to-face with what she identified as a Western bias towards extroversion in the workplace. In Quiet, she celebrates the traits of introverted people, including their capacity for reflection and solitude. In April 2022, Susan published Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, which is an exploration of how embracing life’s sadness, as well as its positive moments, can be the pathway to a greater appreciation of beauty and wonder.

We discuss, among other things:

• How Susan navigates busy publicity cycles as an introvert [4:49]
• Free trait theory [10:03]
• The ‘Alone togetherness’ of spaces like Starbucks, co-working spaces & family homes [14:28]
• Why Susan Cain’s unpublished memoir was called ‘Freefall’  [23:21]
• Why the act of being creative is inherently bittersweet [25:05]
• The relationship between alone time, religion and spirituality [29:08]
• Susan’s critique of positive psychology [31:32]
• Why Susan is a ‘happy melancholic’ [33:15]
• A different look at romantic obsession – and how it can help us learn more about our deeper internal desires [34:16]
• Should introverts only date extroverts – and vice versa? [39:16]

Cultural references from our conversation:

• ‘Only connect’, the epigraph to EM Forster’s Howard’s End
• Ryan Little’s ‘Free Trait Theory’
• The film Splendour in the Grass
• The ‘Bittersweet’ playlist created to accompany Susan’s latest book
• The discipline of positive psychology, founded by Martin Seligman
• The Myers Briggs personality test

You can purchase all of Susan Cain’s books, including Quiet and Bittersweet, on susancain.net/books.

Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com to follow my personal writing plus podcast bonus content. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon,  Waterstones and Bookshop.org.

Thank you so much to WestLab for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Their bestselling Dead Sea bath salt range is a skin hero, containing a unique blend of magnesium, calcium and potassium, which is brilliant for protecting and repairing your skin barrier and managing conditions like eczema, psoriasis, acne and sensitive skin. Visit westlabsalts.co.uk/products/dead-sea-salt and quote the code ALONEMENT15 for 15% off when you spend £10 or more, excludes subscriptions,T&Cs apply. Code expires 31st August 2023.

Social links: @ChezSpecter on Instagram & Twitter, while Susan is @susancain on Twitter and @susancainauthor on Instagram.

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