Micky, who struggles to express herself, discusses the fear of hurting others by speaking up. Topics include navigating relationships, unspoken expectations with family, expressing desires, setting boundaries, and redefining societal notions of strength and weakness.
Struggle with speaking up leads to sadness and unmet expectations among family and friends.
Fear of disappointing others and reluctance to appear weak hinders assertiveness in expressing preferences.
Deep dives
Difficulty in Expressing Opinions
The guest, Mickey, struggles to voice her opinions, especially among family and close friends, leading to feelings of sadness. She finds it challenging to communicate her needs and assert herself, which results in unmet expectations and misunderstandings. An example involving her parents not helping with the children during the summer highlights her difficulty in asking for assistance and being clear about her desires.
Struggle with Assertiveness in Personal Relationships
Mickey recounts a situation where her friend disregarded her cycling route preference, illustrating her trouble with speaking up for herself. Despite expressing her dislike for a pair of cycling glasses bought by her fiance, she ends up wearing them, unable to directly address her dissatisfaction. Her hesitation to assert her preferences stems from a fear of disappointing others and a reluctance to appear weak.
Embracing Vulnerability and Assertiveness
Through introspection, Mickey acknowledges that her upbringing and the expectation to always be strong and helpful have hindered her from embracing vulnerability and expressing her needs. By accepting that it's okay to be both strong and in need, she experiences a sense of relief and calmness. She plans to address her concerns openly, including the issue with the pink glasses, signaling a shift towards embracing her vulnerability and asserting her desires.
Our editor is on holidays, so this week we put our most listened to episode on repeat!🔂 Lots of people recognized themselves in Micky (32), who has trouble taking up space. She doesn't say what she really wants, because she's afraid it will hurt someone, or people will think she's pushy. Especially the people close to her. As a result she's often silently unhappy. Together with Berthold she unravels the layers underneath this behavior.
Do you also have a personal problem and would you like to discuss it with Berthold in the podcast? We would love to have you as our guest!Click here for more info and the application form.
This year, the best-selling tear-off calendar in the Netherlands is also available in English for the first time! Order here: www.omdenken.nl/calendar.
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