AI-powered
podcast player
Listen to all your favourite podcasts with AI-powered features
In a world where globalization is increasingly prominent, identity becomes a complex concept to navigate. As individuals move across different countries, cultures, and languages, the question of where they are from and how they identify themselves becomes multifaceted. The author explores their own experience as someone rooted in India but who has lived in various countries. They reflect on the challenges and privileges of a cosmopolitan lifestyle and the struggle to find a sense of belonging. Their children, growing up as geographically polyamorous individuals, face a unique set of questions about their identity. The author acknowledges their privilege and the need to check it, as well as the importance of having anchors and values, even in a world that seems to value fluidity and openness. They highlight the significance of understanding implicit norms and the role they play in shaping one's perspective. Ultimately, the author emphasizes the search for identity in a globalized world, where rooted cosmopolitanism and the conscious deconstruction of implicit norms become guiding principles.
Living in different countries with diverse cultures and languages has a profound impact on one's perspective and understanding of the world. The author shares their experiences of living in countries such as China, Japan, and Spain, where they learned the local languages and had to adapt to new cultural norms. They discuss the challenges of understanding and being understood, as well as the unique sense of wonderment and openness that comes with immersing oneself in a foreign environment. Language and cultural barriers shape one's perception of time, traditions, and social interactions. They emphasize the importance of deep listening and empathy when communicating with people across different languages and cultures.
The author reflects on the identity of their children who are part of a new generation growing up in a globalized world. They describe how their children's identity is not bound by geographic roots or religious affiliations, but rather is shaped by choice, values, and familial connections. The author grapples with questions of where their children belong and how they define themselves in a world that is becoming more tribal and polarized. They express their hopes for their children to be aware of their own privilege and to recognize the importance of actively engaging with the world around them. In a rapidly changing and interconnected world, the author acknowledges the significance of having anchors and a strong value system to navigate the complexities of identity.
Pallavi's writing style is an amalgamation of memoir and reportage, finding the sweet spot between the two. She enjoys delving into deep reading about a culture or country, and then using reportage as an excuse to explore and interact with people in those places. This allows her to bring together her personal journey, the stories of the people she meets, and her own insights and analysis. Pallavi's books, such as Punjabi Parmesan, Smoking Mirrors, and Orienting, showcase this blend of memoir and reportage, creating a unique and engaging writing style.
Pallavi's exploration of different forms, such as diary writing, television broadcasting, travel logs, and personal essays, has shaped her as a writer and influenced the content she produces. Each form carries its own pace, style, and requirements. Pallavi has found comfort in the personal tone of travel logs, where she can share her own experiences, observations, and insights. She values authenticity and avoiding absolute certainty in her writing, allowing for shades of gray and multiple perspectives. The choice of form should be considered by all creators, as it can shape their work and their own personal growth.
Pallavi's writing has always been influenced by her personal experiences and her journey of self-reflection. From a young age, she found herself fascinating and used writing as a way to tell stories about herself. With a background in journalism and reporting, Pallavi learned the importance of transparency and the relevance of personal insights in storytelling. She strives to bring complexity and authenticity to her work, acknowledging that her perspective is shaped by who she is and the implicit lenses she carries. Opening up about doubts and uncertainties allows for a deeper picture of the world through her unique lens.
The desire to have a baby was initially a thin desire, influenced by societal expectations and fears of regret. The early days of motherhood were challenging and overwhelming, causing the author to question her decision. She experienced a sense of abnormality and a lack of fulfillment in the demanding role of a mother.
The author's experience highlights the inequality of parenting responsibilities, as she desired emotional and mental equality with her partner. The biological asymmetry in infant care led to a desire for her partner to share the emotional and mental burden. The notion of equality in parenting became more important than achieving biological parity.
Motherhood brought about significant changes in the author's life, altering her perspective on feminism, equality, and her identity. She embraced a new awareness of biology and acknowledged the challenges faced by women in parenting. While the initial phase felt overwhelming, with time, the author developed a different perspective on motherhood.
The speaker discusses the challenges of being a mother and a writer, highlighting the mental burden and lack of free mental space that often accompanies motherhood. She reflects on the unequal distribution of mental workload between men and women, particularly regarding parenting responsibilities and the ability to maintain focus and concentration. The speaker emphasizes the need for emotional support rather than problem-solving solutions from partners, suggesting that societal and biological factors may contribute to these differences.
The speaker shares her experience of being diagnosed with breast cancer and going through various stages of diagnosis and treatment. She discusses the initial misdiagnosis and the emotional turmoil during the period of uncertainty. The speaker highlights the importance of a support system, including her mother's presence during her recovery. She reflects on the fragility of life and the appreciation it brings, as well as the impact of her own vulnerability and mortality on her perspective. The speaker also mentions the significance of writing and the jar of happiness in providing solace and connection during this challenging time.
She's been a journalist, travelled the world, lived in nine countries, fought and beaten cancer -- and written about it all in exquisite prose. Pallavi Aiyar joins Amit Varma in episode 351 of The Seen and the Unseen to talk about her life and learnings. (FOR FULL LINKED SHOW NOTES, GO TO SEENUNSEEN.IN.) Also check out: 1. Pallavi Aiyar on Substack, Amazon, Twitter and her own website. 2. Smoke and Mirrors -- Pallavi Aiyar. 3. Orienting -- Pallavi Aiyar. 4. Babies and Bylines -- Pallavi Aiyar. 5. The Acting Life -- Episode 189 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Rasika Dugal and Mukul Chadda). 6. The Adda at the End of the Universe — Episode 309 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Vikram Sathaye and Roshan Abbas). 7. Orphaned and almost married at 10 -- Pallavi Aiyar about her grandmother. 8. Who's Afraid of Cola Colonialism? -- Pallavi Aiyar. 9. The Incredible Curiosities of Mukulika Banerjee — Episode 276 of The Seen and the Unseen. 10. The Life and Times of Mrinal Pande — Episode 263 of The Seen and the Unseen. 11. The Memoirs of Dr Haimabati Sen — Haimabati Sen (translated by Tapan Raychoudhuri). 12. Kavitha Rao and Our Lady Doctors — Episode 235 of The Seen and the Unseen. 13. The Life and Times of Shanta Gokhale — Episode 311 of The Seen and the Unseen. 14. Luke Burgis Sees the Deer at His Window — Episode 337 of The Seen and the Unseen. 15. Train-Track Figure -- Kay Ryan. 16. The Arias-Aiyar global khichdi -- Pallavi Aiyar. 17. The Rooted Cosmopolitanism of Sugata Srinivasaraju — Episode 277 of The Seen and the Unseen. 18. Swaminathan S Anklesaria Aiyar's columns and homepage. 19. A tribute to my mother, Gitanjali Aiyar -- Pallavi Aiyar. 20. Confessions of a terrible guru -- Pallavi Aiyar. 21. Children and Death -- Pallavi Aiyar. 22. The Steady Determination of Yamini Aiyar — Episode 341 of The Seen and the Unseen. 23. Films, Feminism, Paromita — Episode 155 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Paromita Vohra). 24. The Poetic Feminism of Paromita Vohra — Episode 339 of The Seen and the Unseen. 25. The Coming Collapse Of China -- Gordon G Chang. 26. Lord of the Rings -- JRR Tolkien. 27. A Meditation on Form — Amit Varma. 28. We Are All Amits From Africa -- Episode 343 of The Seen and the Unseen (w Krish Ashok and Naren Shenoy). 29. How The Desperate Norwegian Salmon Industry Created A Sushi Staple -- Jess Jiang. 30. Nothing is Indian! Everything is Indian! -- Episode 12 of Everything is Everything. 31. Wanting — Luke Burgis. 32. René Girard on Amazon and Wikipedia. 33. Womaning in India With Mahima Vashisht — Episode 293 of The Seen and the Unseen. 34. Womaning in India — Mahima Vashisht’s newsletter. 35. Butter Chicken in Ludhiana -- Pankaj Mishra. 36. An End to Suffering -- Pankaj Mishra. 37. A Room of One's Own -- Virginia Woolf. 38. My Mother's Magic Jar of Happiness -- Pallavi Aiyar. 39. In between the Kingdoms of the Well and Sick -- Pallavi Aiyar. 40. Farewell, good breast -- Pallavi Aiyar. 41. I Am, I Am, I Am -- Maggie O'Farrell. 42. Reggaeton. 43. Bad Bunny on Spotify and YouTube. 44. Dekalog — Krzysztof Kieślowski. 45. Dead Poets Society -- Peter Weir. Amit Varma and Ajay Shah have launched a new video podcast. Check out Everything is Everything on YouTube. Check out Amit’s online course, The Art of Clear Writing. And subscribe to The India Uncut Newsletter. It’s free! Episode art: ‘Harbour’ by Simahina.
Listen to all your favourite podcasts with AI-powered features
Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode
Hear something you like? Tap your headphones to save it with AI-generated key takeaways
Send highlights to Twitter, WhatsApp or export them to Notion, Readwise & more
Listen to all your favourite podcasts with AI-powered features
Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode