Topaz Adizes On How To Ask Questions (And Sell Them, Too.)
Jan 9, 2025
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Topaz Adizes, an Emmy Award-winning filmmaker and founder of The Skin Deep, delves into the art of asking meaningful questions to enhance human connections. He discusses the evolution of relationships in the digital era, emphasizing how technology impacts emotional intimacy. Topaz shares insights on experience design as a way to foster genuine interactions and explores his unique project, 'The And,' which captures deep conversations between individuals. He also reflects on the changing dating landscape and the future of relationships.
Topaz Adizes emphasizes that understanding relationships involves recognizing the shared 'and' that connects individuals beyond themselves.
His project 'The And' fosters deep conversations by using well-crafted questions to provoke introspection and emotional engagement between participants.
Adizes discusses the impact of technology on relationships, highlighting the importance of asking deeper questions to navigate emotional connections amid superficial interactions.
Deep dives
The Conception of Humanity
The idea that humanity exists in the space between individuals is central to understanding interpersonal relationships. This concept emphasizes that relationships are not just about 'you' or 'I,' but rather about the 'and' that connects us. This perspective reframes how we approach dialogues, highlighting the importance of recognizing the shared space where empathy and connection thrive. The host and guest discuss how fostering conversation can cultivate this humanity that exists beyond individual experiences.
The Journey from Filmmaker to Experience Designer
Topaz Adizes transitioned from a film director with a short film featured at the Cannes Film Festival to founding an experience design studio called The Skin Deep. This shift was catalyzed by realizing that seeking creative expression on the internet opened up new avenues for storytelling beyond traditional Hollywood confines. His journey underscores the importance of questioning the nature of creativity and how individuals can find innovative ways to share and connect with others. This exploration of new mediums led to the development of impactful projects that facilitate meaningful conversations.
Insights from 'The And'
'The And' is a project that engages individuals in deep conversations through a series of carefully crafted video dialogues. Featuring over 1,200 pairs, it enables people to confront and discuss their relationships in a structured yet open environment. Each session is filmed with three cameras, ensuring that both speakers are visible, which reinforces the idea that meaningful connections arise from two perspectives engaging simultaneously. The project serves as a powerful tool for exploring the nuances of relationships, allowing viewers to witness the vulnerability and authenticity that comes from genuine dialogue.
Architecting Conversations Through Questions
The framework of 'The And' revolves around asking well-constructed questions designed to provoke thoughtful responses rather than simple answers. By creating questions that avoid binary choices, emphasize connection, and invite introspection, the format encourages participants to delve deeper into their emotions and relationships. Important themes include the notion that questions shape the answers we receive—highlighting the necessity for deeper inquiry into our personal stories and shared experiences. This approach reveals how powerful questioning can foster understanding and connection in interpersonal dynamics.
Navigating the Modern Dating Landscape
The rise of technology has fundamentally altered how relationships form and evolve, presenting both opportunities and challenges. Adizes points out that while people have unprecedented access to potential partners beyond physical proximity, the emotional depth of these connections is often uncharted. The resulting intimacy crisis reflects a potential deficit of genuine interaction, creating a landscape where superficial connections thrive. Despite these challenges, the emphasis on asking deeper questions can help individuals navigate their emotions, allowing them to foster stronger bonds amid technological advancements.
This week, Meghan is joined by filmmaker, YouTuber, and “experience design architect” Topaz Adizes. He is the founder of The Skin Deep, an experience design created to foster connection in human relationships, often through innovative products and curated live events. In this conversation, Topaz discusses the evolution of relationships in the digital age, the importance of asking the right questions, and how he built a sustainable business model around his project, The And, a video series in which two people sit face to face and engage with a series of simple yet surprising questions. He also explains the concept of experience design and how it shapes human interactions in a technology-driven world. Finally, he and Meghan talk about building a business, the meaning of “intimacy,” the changing rules of the dating market, and why he’s (theoretically) willing to accept that his grandchildren might never meet their spouses in real life. GUEST BIO Topaz Adizes is an Emmy Award-winning writer, director, and the founder and executive director of the experience design studio The Skin Deep, which has a popular YouTube channel. Topaz studied philosophy at UC Berkeley and Oxford University. He speaks four languages and currently lives in Mexico with his wife and two children.