In this episode, author Michelle Icard discusses setbacks and their role in success. She shares stories about her family, relationships, and the celebration of a long-term marriage. Michelle explores how setbacks can shape individuals and relationships. They also touch on raising kids, building stable family environments, creating psychological safety, navigating setbacks, rebuilding trust, and teaching kids to think critically. The conversation ends with a discussion on leadership qualities showcased in the TV show Ted Lasso.
Parents should guide their children through setbacks involving empathy and concern for others by facilitating conversations, encouraging apologies, and teaching the value of making amends.
Parents can support their children in overcoming setbacks related to self-doubt and lack of confidence by creating a safe space for expression, validating emotions, helping them take action steps, and building self-esteem and resilience.
To address setbacks in academic performance, parents can provide support and resources, establish clear expectations and consequences, and work with their children to develop effective study habits and organizational skills.
Deep dives
Setbacks in Parenting: Failure to Show Concern for Others
Parenting expert Michelle Icard discusses the first setback in her book, which is the failure to show concern for others. This can manifest in kids struggling with empathy and kindness. Icard emphasizes the importance of parents guiding their kids through this by containing the problem or helping the child understand the consequences of their actions. Parents should facilitate conversations and encourage their children to apologize and make amends. By teaching kids the value of empathy and concern for others, parents can help them develop healthy relationships and emotional intelligence.
Setbacks in Parenting: Failure to Believe in Themselves
Another setback discussed in Michelle Icard's book is the failure to believe in oneself. This pertains to kids who lack confidence and struggle with self-doubt. Icard advises parents to contain the problem by creating a safe space for their children to express their feelings and concerns. By validating their emotions and helping them take action steps, parents can help their kids build self-esteem and resilience. The resolution process involves defining clear consequences, teaching kids to apologize, and allowing them to develop a plan to rebuild their self-belief. By supporting their children in believing in themselves, parents can foster resilience and empowerment.
Setbacks in Parenting: Failure to Perform Well in School
Failure to perform well in school is another setback explored by Michelle Icard. This setback can lead to academic struggles and decreased motivation. Icard suggests that parents contain this issue by providing support and resources to help their kids succeed academically. Clear expectations and consequences should be communicated, and parents should work with their children to develop effective study habits and organizational skills. By helping kids understand the importance of education and providing them with necessary tools, parents can assist in resolving the setback of academic underperformance and enable their children to thrive in school.
Main Idea/Key Point 1
The podcast episode discusses the value of the parenting approach called 'contained, resolved, and evolve'. Parents are advised to navigate their child's setbacks or failures by implementing these three steps. 'Contained' refers to putting a temporary band-aid on the problem, 'resolve' involves finding a solution or guiding the child towards resolving the issue, and 'evolve' encourages parents to focus on their child's growth and not continuously reinforce past setbacks. The conversation highlights the importance of allowing children to experience setbacks and learn from them, rather than shielding them from failure in an attempt to create a perfect path.
Main Idea/Key Point 2
The podcast also delves into personal stories and experiences that exemplify various challenges parents and children face. One story touched on the topic of body image and self-care, with the host sharing their struggles as a former overweight child. They highlighted the importance of allowing children to find their own paths towards feeling comfortable and at home in their own bodies, without constantly reminding them of past failures. The conversation emphasizes the significance of understanding that setbacks and difficulties in childhood can often lead to valuable lessons and personal growth if given the opportunity to overcome them.
Michelle Icard is the author of the books “Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen” and “Middle School Makeover”. She has a degree in Education and has worked with parents, children, and teachers for more than 20 years, creating curriculum, books, and programs that help them better understand and navigate early adolescence.
In this episode, Larry Hagner interviews Michelle Icard about their family and their experiences in parenting. Michelle shares that she has two adult children and two dogs. The conversation also touches on their long-term marriage and recent celebration at a concert.
Setbacks can lead to success. This is a concept that is explored in the podcast transcript, where the author, Michelle Icard, discusses her book "8 Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success." The conversation revolves around the idea that setbacks and failures are not necessarily negative experiences, but rather opportunities for growth and development.
Michelle begins by sharing her own experience of being relationship and commitment phobic before getting married. She explains that she and her husband dated for seven years before tying the knot, which she finds amusing. This sets the stage for the discussion on setbacks and how they can shape individuals and relationships.
She reveals that she does not have a lot of frustration in her marriage and that it has been mostly easy. She attributes this to the fact that both she and her husband came into the relationship with burdens from their own childhoods and approached their marriage with loyalty and flexibility. They deeply appreciate stability, which they lacked in their upbringing.