Episode 226 – Filipino American Masculinity

Feb 4, 2025

In this thought-provoking discussion, guests Don Martinez, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Joseph Reynoso, a psychoanalytic psychologist, dive into the complexities of Filipino American masculinity. They explore the clash between traditional gender roles and contemporary expectations, reflecting on how familial obligations shape personal identity. The conversation challenges narrow definitions of manhood, addresses the impact of societal pressures, and promotes a more inclusive understanding of emotional vulnerability among Filipino men.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

ANECDOTE

Parental Expectations of Worth

Don Martinez's mother believed he had "nothing to offer" after a breakup at 30 because of his unstable career.
His father seemingly agreed, stating he saw "absolutely nothing" of worth in him, emphasizing a need for traditional provider status.

INSIGHT

Implicit Assimilation Pressure

Joseph Reynoso's parents encouraged assimilation, implicitly discouraging connection with Filipino roots.
This lack of explicit guidance left him feeling conflicted and without a firm cultural identity.

ANECDOTE

Adopting a Persona for Safety

Don, growing up in a diverse expat community, internalized a focus on modernity and rationalism.
Moving to a white community, he observed the racial dynamics and adopted a "cool Hawaiian" persona for safety.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

For generations, society has taught Filipinos and Filipino Americans what our specific gender roles should be. For men, masculinity is usually associated with ideas of strength, competition, emotion-less, family responsibilities, and protection. At times, these concepts can create narrow definitions of manhood and can pigeon-hole heterosexual men into certain prescribed racial, classed, and gender identities. How can Filipino men navigate an increasingly isolating, brutal, and hyper-masculine society particularly in the United States? How do men make room for different forms of masculinity? How do men reject notions of toxicity, violence, and domination as they remake and redefine heterosexual masculinity for ourselves?

In this TFAL episode, Joe talks to Don Martinez, a Marriage and Family Therapist based in Pasadena, and Joseph Reynoso,

NOTE: This was another feeble attempt by Joe to record and edit the episode without the almighty Producer Mike (who was still in the Philippines). Please direct any hate mail to him.

Listen or download the episode through the embedded player on ThisFilipinoAmericanLife.com, or subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever your favorite podcasts are found.

Do you have thoughts on Filipino American masculinity? Let us know and maybe we’ll have further discussion on a future episode! Leave us a voicemail at (805) 394-TFAL or email us at thisfilipinoamericanlife@gmail.com.

As referenced in the episode, here is Joseph Reynoso’s latest work, Sports and Psychoanalysis, an edited volume of essays that explores the intersection of sport and psychoanalysis.