#135: When it comes to men and conflict, I typically see two conditioned responses:
- Avoid
- Lose Their Shit
Neither of which are becoming of a Great Man.
The Avoidants lose all sense of their boundaries, because they have none.
- They have difficulty identifying what they stand for...because they’ve never truly stood up for anything.
- They typically end up exhausted and cynical from a lifetime of biting their tongue and eating shit.
On the other hand, the guys who lose their shit leave a path of destruction in their wake.
- They create an environment of fear
- They bully others to suppress their true feelings
A Great Man savors conflict. He doesn’t see it as a threat to his existence, his masculinity or how he looks.
He recognizes conflict as:
- A powerful source for personal growth
- For forging deep, trusting bonds with others
- For finding his ultimate source of power and purpose.
In this Episode:
- 3 reasons why men avoid conflict
- Why you want to build conflict stamina
- How men’s brains rely on a different emotional system than women’s brains during conflict
- Why in men, the brain’s response to anger can produce feelings of pleasure because of the hormones that are released
- How to know which battles to fight and which to let go
- 3 powerful payoffs of learning how to savor conflict
Resources Mentioned:
- The Male Brain by Dr. Louanne Brizendine
- Sacred Hoops by Phil Jackson
- 2 Reasons Why Your Man Hates Conflict by Shaunti Feldhahn
- Why Fighting is Necessary in Relationships by Jordan Peterson (YouTube Video)