Holiday Depression and Grief: Coping with Expectations, Stress, and Loneliness

The holidays are painted as a season of joy, but for many living with depression or grief, they can feel overwhelming, isolating, and exhausting. In this episode, we explore how unrealistic expectations, social pressure, and loss can intensify depression at Christmas. With the help of psychologist Dr. Anita Sanz, we reframe holiday struggles through an unexpected lens—Ebenezer Scrooge.

Dr. Sands reminds us that what looks like irritability, withdrawal, or “coldness” may actually be grief or depression, and that offering compassion—rather than judgment—can make all the difference.

We also discuss practical coping strategies for both those living with depression and the loved ones who want to support them, including flexible invitations, self-care routines, and giving yourself permission to simplify traditions.

If you’re struggling with the holidays, this episode offers validation, perspective, and tools for making the season gentler on your mental health.

Primary Topics Covered:

• Why the holidays can feel harder with depression
• Grief, loss, and the “Scrooge” perspective on holiday struggles
• The role of unrealistic expectations and financial/social stress
• Compassionate ways friends and family can support someone struggling
• Practical self-care strategies for navigating holiday depression
• Redefining traditions and giving yourself permission to simplify

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction and welcome
 01:08 – Why depression can feel worse during the holidays
 02:42 – Ebenezer Scrooge as a lens to understand grief and depression
 04:23 – The stigma of not being “in the holiday spirit”
 05:41 – Depression as feeling disconnected during holiday celebrations
 06:54 – Why declining holiday invitations isn’t always about rejection
 07:14 – The gift of offering flexible invitations and compassion
 09:25 – Shifting that same compassion inward: the basics of self-care
 10:51 – Affordable, realistic ways to practice holiday self-care
 11:37 – Reclaiming choice: defining what the holidays mean for you
 13:27 – Simplifying traditions and focusing on what nourishes you
 14:37 – Managing financial and emotional fallout after the holidays
 15:13 – The importance of permission and choice in holiday planning
 16:08 – Personal reflections on simplifying and redefining Christmas
 17:23 – Closing thoughts and holiday wishes

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