That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding #206 Finding connection and community when hoarding feels isolating
Nov 28, 2025
01:03:40
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- Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/
Hoarding disorder can feel deeply isolating, and finding genuine connection isn’t always straightforward.
In this episode, I talk about building community - both through hoarding-specific peer groups, online spaces, as well as simply nurturing friendships outside the home.
I share practical ways to reconnect, set boundaries, and remind yourself that you deserve care and companionship, whatever your home looks like.
- The Relationship Between Hoarding and Isolation
- How hoarding and isolation often accompany each other
- Feelings of shame and concern about being misunderstood
- Secrecy around hoarding, even from friends
- Impact of loneliness on motivation and self-worth
- The fundamental human need for connection
- Finding Community: Hoarding-Specific Support
- Benefits of speaking with others who “get” hoarding
- Relief and authenticity in hoarding-focused communities
- Misunderstandings and stigma around hoarding in general society
- Shared language and understanding in dedicated groups
- Types of Hoarding Communities
- Peer support groups (both for people who hoard and for their loved ones)
- Differences between in-person and online groups
- Dehoarding accountability Zoom groups run by the host
- Therapy groups led by professionals
- Online forums, social media groups, and subreddits
- Choosing a Support Group and Overcoming Barriers
- The process of finding the right group for your needs
- Not all groups will fit; trial and error is normal
- Common barriers: fear of judgment, privacy concerns, and feeling overwhelmed
- Exploring online versus in-person options based on comfort and access
- Managing triggers and emotional challenges when joining a group
- Broadening Community Beyond Hoarding
- Importance of connection outside of the hoarding context
- How hoarding can lead to progressive social isolation
- Ways to set boundaries while still building relationships
- Alternative Sources of Community & Connection
- Joining hobby or interest-based groups (gardening, book clubs, crafts, etc.)
- Attending classes and workshops (in-person or online)
- Volunteering for shared causes and the benefits it offers
- Engaging in outdoor activity groups for physical and mental health
- Involvement in faith communities (acknowledging varied experiences)
- Nurturing and Rekindling Friendships
- The value of maintaining and nurturing friendships
- Strategies for reconnecting with old friends (acknowledging awkwardness)
- Personal anecdotes demonstrating successful reconnection
- Maintaining and Deepening Existing Friendships
- Creative ways of keeping in touch (memes, postcards, regular outings)
- Showing care and interest without inviting people into your home
- Importance of honesty about personal limitations
- Navigating difficult moments with friends through gentle outreach
- Building New Friendships
- The importance of patience and consistent small efforts
- Transitioning from casual acquaintance to meaningful connection
- Reciprocity and mutual engagement as key to growing relationships
- Natural pace of friendship development
- The Value of Self-Compassion
- Being a good friend to yourself while seeking social connections
- Avoiding self-blame and catastrophic thinking
- Recognising your own worth despite challenges related to hoarding
- Taking Small Steps Toward Connection
- Encouragement to take actionable, manageable steps to build community
- Celebrating small efforts toward greater connection
- Realistic expectations about gradual progress
- Suggestions for relevant previous podcast episodes on loneliness, accountability, and community
Links
- Podcast ep 200: Things I wish I’d known: a letter to Episode One Me
- Podcast ep 130: Loneliness and hoarding with Vassia Sarantopoulou: build human connections and combat hoarding-related shame
- Podcast ep 138: The Accountability Effect: Accountability, encouragement and mutual support when tackling hoarding and dehoarding
- Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form
- Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding
- Become a Dehoarding Darling
- Submit a topic for the podcast to cover
- Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions
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