“Are You Mad at Me?” What That Question Is Really Asking

In this short “From the Couch” episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish answers a question many couples know by heart: “Are you mad at me?” Inspired by a comment on a recent reel with Greg, Dr. Tracy explores why this question shows up so often and why it’s rarely about the moment and more about older wiring, nervous system threat, and the stories we learned to tell ourselves in childhood.
Using a simple yarn analogy, she explains how our brains build repeated patterns (“neurons that wire together, fire together”) and how partnership can become the place where we gently rewire those patterns with secure connection. Dr. Tracy offers three practical, compassionate prompts to respond in a way that lowers defensiveness, increases emotional safety, and helps your partner share what they feel and need, not just what they fear.

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Be Connected Relationship Support HERE

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