Valuing All People with Dr. Marilyn Volker

Dr. Marilyn Volker, Sexologist for the past thirty-two years, Diplomat of the American Board of Sexology and Associate Fellow of The American Academy of Clinical Sexologists, joins the show today. Dr. Volker helped to establish the Health Crisis Network, Florida’s first community-based AIDS project and has educated thousands over the past 20 years about HIV/AIDS nationwide. Dr. Volker also helped to establish the first gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender youth group in Miami-Dade County in 1975. In this week’s episode, she talks about what it was like to be active in the frontlines of not only the HIV epidemic but dealing with sexual minorities. She addresses areas where we have made progress, and where we still have a lot of work to go. Dr. Volker shares humbling stories that are close to her heart of people turning struggle and fear into bravery, connection, and community.

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:05] Dr. Volker began her career teaching deaf children and continues to work with special education programs and communities.

[3:12] Dr. Volker’s family were way ahead of their time in the way they encouraged her and her siblings to value all people, and be proud of their own bodies.

[4:02] In the 1970’s, four young gay teenage men showed Dr. Volker that they needed her assistance and support. They only met in what she refers to as the 5 B’s: bars, beaches, bathhouses in bookstores and bushes. They felt marginalized and scared, and they needed a group for their safety and self esteem.

[8:51] Dr. Volker made it her life’s work to provide a safe place for LGBT people to go to discuss their fears and concerns. At first HIV was referred to as GRID, or gay-related immune deficiency. It was also thought to only affect people in the Four H categories: homosexual, Haitian, hemophiliac or heroin user.

[12:22] In the early days of an HIV support call center there were two lines that came in, and the second line went either to the Gay Men’s Health Crisis Centers in New York or Los Angeles. There was very little training, and everyone was learning as they went.

[15:55] Many of the sufferers felt alone, ashamed and unable to talk about what they were experiencing because of the stigma that surrounded being in both the LGBT community and being infected with HIV.

[17:14] Despite the very little structure and education available at the time, Dr. Volker and her “dream team” stepped up and created a cultural shift in discussing and accepting human sexuality.

[21:44] It was one of Dr. Volker’s greatest honors to help people express how they wanted to be remembered through the Quilt Project. In very painful circumstances these heroes showed tenderness and humor to still celebrate their life.

[28:07] Dr. Volker is known as the “Condom Queen” or “Condom Lady” because she was always seen handing them out, or had them ready for anyone that may be interested.

[29:17] What really helps people when they are scared and feeling lonely: faith, family, love, compassion and a sense of humor.

 

RESOURCES:

International Institute of Clinical Sexology

International Transgender Certification

Therapist Certification Association

besafemv@gmail.com

 

QUOTES:

• “Everyone is part of the dream team.”
• “It’s the shoulders we stand on.”
• “I can’t tell you how many people were willing to be visible so we can make these moves.”
• “Behind anger is so much fear.”