In the third installment of the DA+3 series, rediscover timeless advice from Jim Jackson. You'll learn why being "fast, large, and loud" isn't effective and how to make a shift that leads to more connection with your kids. Plus, explore the 10 DA+3 Discussion Questions below to prompt meaningful conversations about legacy, peace, your fatherhood report card, and more.
Key Takeaways
- Be Slow, Soft, and Low: Our default as dads is to be fast, large, and loud. Instead, you can create more connection by changing how you approach your kids.
- "One-Another" Fatherhood: Look at all the areas in the Bible with "one another" commands and apply those behaviors to your relationship with your children.
- Your Child is Not Your Report Card: How your kids behave is not a reflection of your value.
- Beyond Understanding: You will never understand everything as a dad. Prayerfully seek God's wisdom, insight, and understanding.
- Legacy: Love your wife and kids well.
DA+3 Group Guide Discussion Questions:
- Why do you think us dads default to being fast, large, and loud?
- How do you practice being "slow, soft, and low" instead of "fast, large, and loud" when interacting with your kids?
- Scan the infographic of all the "one another" commands in the New Testament. Which one stands out most to you as something you want to practice more?
- Have you ever patted yourself on the back when your child behaved well?
- On the other hand, when did you feel like a failure because of something your kid did or didn't do?
- If you had a real "Dad Report Card," what subjects or things would it measure? (Hint: It should not be directly linked to your kid's behavior.)
- What does it look like to be okay and remember where your value comes from, even when your children are struggling?
- Thinking about Philippians 4:7, in what situations or areas of your life do you need to pray for the peace of God, which transcends all understanding?
- What is the #1 legacy you want to leave as a husband?
- What is the #1 legacy you want to leave as a father?
Jim Jackson
Jim Jackson and his wife, Lynne, are the co-founders of Connected Families, a non-profit ministry that has been bringing reliable, God-centered, research-based parenting resources to all families since 2002.
Key Quotes
- 3:22 - "Dads, we're really good at feeling that stress and jumping forward and stepping in and fixing stuff and getting stuff done and getting people to do the stuff that we need them to do. Even if it's just by our posture, we get big and we get loud and we get demanding, and the people around us, we think that it's respect, but oftentimes I fear that it's fear. We think that we're doing something in the name of gaining respect, when in fact we're scaring people into a form of compliance that builds distance in their trust of us, not closeness."
- 5:00 - "Obedience is a matter of the heart, not a matter of behavior. When our kids comply, that's not obedience. That's just doing what they're told because they've been told to do it because they're scared of what will happen if they don't. If that's the the mode of operation for us, then our kids grow in fear as we grow in a sense of demanding and being the habit just keeps getting bigger and bigger as the kids get older and older."
- The Power of Positive Connection (028 Jim Jackson)
- Connected Families
- Connected Families Framework
- All the “one another” commands in the NT [infographic]
- Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart by Jim & Lynne Jackson
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