Episode 755: Transforming Couples Therapy with David Mars, PhD
Sep 18, 2023
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David Mars, developer of a couples treatment model, discusses the flaws in traditional couples therapy and his dedication to creating a more effective approach. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on what is right in a relationship rather than solely on what is wrong. Mars also explores the impact of unresolved trauma and insecure patterns in relationships, and introduces the transformative couples therapy program, highlighting the qualities of an effective couple therapist and the benefits of learning together in a group.
Transformative Couples Therapy (TCT) focuses on emphasizing what is right in a relationship and fostering positive growth, rather than solely focusing on what is wrong.
Cultivating self-trust, body awareness, and embodying gratitude and compassion are crucial for therapists to effectively facilitate transformative change in couples.
Deep dives
Transformative Couples Therapy: Focusing on the Positive
Dr. David Mars developed transformative couples therapy (TCT) as an alternative to traditional couple therapy sessions that tend to focus on what is wrong in a relationship. TCT aims to emphasize what is right in a relationship and foster positive growth. The therapy starts with a 20-minute interview to assess the couple's ability to communicate their desires for positive change. The therapy progresses by continuously reminding the couple to follow through on their intentions and promote giving and receiving of love and kindness. TCT incorporates body awareness, video analysis, and ongoing support from individual therapists to help couples address unresolved trauma and attachment issues. The goal is to create a safe and transformative space for couples to grow together.
The Power of Self-Awareness and Body Sensing
Dr. David Mars highlights the importance of cultivating self-trust and the ability to be in tune with one's own body during couple therapy. He draws from his experience leading body awareness groups and witnessing the transformative power of self-awareness. By trusting and listening to his own body sensations and energy, he determines the next steps in therapy sessions. Dr. Mars believes that being heart-based and embodying genuine gratitude and compassion guides him in working with couples. He encourages therapists to be humble, acknowledge their own growth journey, and continue cultivating self-awareness to effectively facilitate transformative change in couples.
Working through Trauma to Create Growth
Transformative couples therapy addresses the unresolved trauma and insecure attachment patterns that couples often bring into relationships. Dr. David Mars emphasizes the significance of recognizing the impact of past experiences on present dynamics. The therapy helps couples pluck out the weeds of destructive patterns and assists them in creating new patterns grounded in trust, safety, and love. By facilitating deeper self-awareness and productive truth-telling, couples can heal and build stronger connections. Dr. Mars coordinates closely with individual therapists, providing a support system to help couples navigate their growth journey within the therapy and beyond.
Learning Transformative Couples Therapy
Dr. David Mars offers transformative couples therapy training and courses to therapists internationally. Although in-person options were available in the past, trainings are now conducted online, making them accessible and efficient. The courses include core training, webinars, process groups, and supervision sessions. Licensed clinicians, counselors, psychiatrists, and other professionals interested in couples therapy can join these training programs. Dr. Mars values the collaborative learning environment where therapists can benefit from each other's diverse backgrounds and strengths. The training aims to provide therapists with the tools and insights to facilitate transformative change in the couples they work with.
As a young therapist, Dr. David Mars went into couples therapy looking for help. Instead, he found that the models offered seemed to make matters worse by unnecessarily drawing out and evoking the vicious cycle of distress. He found that instead of offering help and support, most couples therapy sessions focused on what is wrong in a relationship instead of what is right.
This set into motion four decades of dedicating himself to developing a couples treatment model that works in a kind, effective, pleasurable and time-efficient way.
