E124: Roy Ratnavel on how to stop being the victim

In this episode, I’m speaking with Roy Ratnavel, a retired financial services executive and the author of the #1 Canadian national bestselling book Prisoner #1056.

Roy’s philosophy for life seems simple but I think it’s a hard one for most of us to adopt: fix yourself before you fix the world. If you’re a good husband, you raise good kids. Good households create good communities. Strong communities build strong societies. Strong societies make stronger countries.

And I think Canada needs a lot of this at the moment. Everything is ground up, not top down. The government can’t control what goes on in your head or within the four walls of your home. No regulation can stop that. So it comes down to individuals—not as a selfish notion, but as a recognition that you need to fix your flaws before pointing out others’ shortcomings.

Roy spent a decade after arriving in Canada blaming everyone else for his struggles. At 31, he realized he was the problem. He went to war with the man in the mirror, sought therapy for PTSD, and completely changed his approach to life.

Roy and I chat about my biggest lessons from reading his book. We also explore:

• Why the 2010 Winter Olympics was the most Canadian he’d ever felt

• How Canada can unite people across differences

• Why we need to lower the barrier but not the bar

• Moral exhibitionism vs. real solutions

• Lying to yourself versus being honest about mistakes