Productive Flourishing Podcast Michael Bungay Stanier: Defeating the Advice Monster (Episode 214)
Michael Bungay Stanier joins Charlie on the show to talk about his new book, The Advice Trap. His book provides ways leaders can be more mindful of how they are coaching their team. In today’s episode, Michael and Charlie jam about some of the negative effects of falling into the advice trap too quickly. They also discuss patterns and questions to ask to better coach your team, and the best ways to give advice when it’s needed.
Key Takeaways:
[5:50] - Michael shares the backstory to his book, and the default habit we have of responding to any situation by giving advice. The book seeks to end our knee-jerk reaction to always giving advice, often on things we don’t know about.
[7:45] - Charlie and Michael talk about the need for different styles of leadership as a manager. To effectively lead your team, you need to be able to utilize the 6 styles of leadership, and know when to use them. Using the right leadership skills can drive culture and productivity, making life better for you and those around you.
[10:15] - The book focuses on the manager’s impulse to give advice as the default. Michael and Charlie talk about striking a balance between giving advice and giving answers. They discuss some scenarios of how you can evaluate how receptive your team member may be to hearing advice or coaching.
[16:15] - Michaels talks about the three personas of the advice monster: Tell It, Save It, and Control It. Whichever persona relates to you, it is a habitual response. The goal is that as leaders we are making mindful decisions in every situation.
[21:45] - As a leader, one of your main roles is to make decisions. It is your job to wrestle with the tough decisions, and to be mindful about what decisions your team can make on their own. Michael and Charlie also talk about the necessity of sitting on decisions before jumping to your answer.
[29:03] - Charlie and Michael talk about some books they’ve loved recently.
[32:25] - Charlie and Michael talk about some perpetual problems we may encounter in business and relationships. There are some things that are always going to be present in both business and relationships. You have to focus on the good and how you are going to work around those things to keep moving forward.
[36:55] - As a coach or a leader, it’s also important to point out and celebrate what you do well. Then you can encourage your team to apply the good to some other problem areas.
[38:20] - Michael talks about the neuroscience of engagement that he discusses in his book. As a coach or leader, it’s important to learn the neuroscience because it really helps you understand how people work. Michael discusses the basics of the TERA quotient: tribe, expectation, rank, autonomy.
[42:15] - Michael talks about different ways we can influence the TERA quotient when interacting with the people that we lead. If your team knows your coaching habits, you may not be as effective as you could be.
[47:20] - In his book, Michael talks about the 6 foggy fires. All show up pretty regularly, but popcorning and coaching the ghost are two of the most common to be on the lookout for. Charlie and Michael also discuss the four D’s of giving good advice.
[53:40] - Michael’s invitation to listeners is to get on the website and take the questionnaire to identify which advice monster persona is most real for you.
Mentioned in This Episode:
Start Finishing, by Charlie Gilkey
The Advice Trap, by Michael Bungay Stanier
The Coaching Habit, by Michael Bungay Stanier
Daniel Goleman on Emotional Intelligence
Primal Leadership, by Daniel Goleman
It Doesn’t Have to be Crazy at Work, by Jason Fried and David Hansson
Every Book is a Startup, by Todd Sattersten
Creative Calling, by Chase Jarvis
Eight Dates, by John M. Gottman, Julie Gottman, and Rachel Carlton Abrams
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