The Freeze, Appease or Fawn Response to Sexual Violence

Dec 4, 2025

Explore the surprising ways the body responds to sexual violence, including freeze and fawn reactions. Discover how these instinctive responses can leave individuals feeling trapped and powerless. Learn the science behind these trauma responses and the importance of self-forgiveness. Emma emphasizes that reactions during such situations are not choices but survival strategies shaped by past experiences and social dynamics. The discussion also highlights practical steps for rebuilding responses and enhancing personal safety through training and support.

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ANECDOTE

Lawyer Freezes During Uncomfortable Client Lunch

Emma McAdam tells a story about a new lawyer who froze during a lunch with an elderly client who propositioned her.
The lawyer later blamed herself for not leaving sooner and wondered if her kids could be taught to react differently.

ANECDOTE

Host's Early Experience With Street Harassment

Emma shares a personal memory of apologizing when a man grabbed her butt at 16 because she was shocked.
She uses this to illustrate how reflexive appeasement can feel automatic and shame-inducing.

INSIGHT

How The Nervous System 'Does The Math'

The nervous system chooses fight, flight, fawn, or freeze based on perceived power and escape likelihood.
Fawning (appeasing) arises when people perceive low control but still need to avoid escalation to survive.

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Your nervous system has a built-in Freeze and Appease response to manage the threat of sexual assault, aka the Fawn response.

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When someone experiences sexual harassment or sexual assault, their body often doesn’t react the way they expect. Instead of fighting or running, they might freeze, fawn, or appease—smiling, complying, or going still, even when they feel terrified inside.

In this video, we’ll explore the Freeze and Fawn Response—sometimes called the Freeze-Appease Response—and how these instinctive reactions are the body’s way of trying to stay safe during sexual violence or threat.

You’ll learn what happens in the nervous system during a freeze response, why people can’t “just say no,” and how understanding this can help survivors release shame and start to heal. This is essential education for survivors, loved ones, and anyone who wants to understand trauma responses with compassion and science. If you’ve ever blamed yourself for how you reacted during sexual harassment or sexual assault, please know: it wasn’t your fault. Your body was trying to keep you alive.

Freeze Response, Fawn Response, Freeze Appease, Sexual Violence, Sexual Assault, Tonic Immobility, Trauma Response, Nervous System, PTSD Recovery, Survivor Support

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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.