Since men are human, they can make mistakes. One aspect of life we make mistakes in is our relationships. Since so many studies show that a strong prediction of happiness and longevity is the quality of our relationships, betraying our partner is a significant issue.

Google says that nearly half of individuals in monogamous relationships admit to having an affair. Close to 25% of marriages stay together after an instance of cheating.

My guest today, Vanessa Cardenas, is your trusted advisor for Betrayal and Transformation. Vanessa is a highly experienced C-Suite Executive, Mentor, Coach, and Speaker with a degree in Industrial Psychology. She is also the founder and CEO of Understanding Ear, LLC, where she empowers individuals and groups to heal from betrayal, amplify their authenticity, and find love and happiness on their terms.

Vanessa delivers a master class on men who've betrayed their spouses but want to stay together. She shares the three aspects of cheating, why women can't just "get over it," and seven reasons why men cheat. You'll also learn what got Vanessa working with betrayal.

Be willing to have difficult conversations before betrayal to avoid needing them after.

Topics and Questions

1:34 - In your work, what constitutes betrayal?
2:14 - The three aspects of cheating.
5:47 - Are men and women equally likely to cheat?
7:10 - Did you initially work exclusively with women?
9:09 - Does it matter why a man cheats?
9:37 - Vanessa's experience with being betrayed.
13:37 - Seven most popular reasons why men cheat.
19:56 - Does having any of these reasons mean you are destined for betrayal?
20:26 - Does blame and responsibility fall on both partners?
20:52 - The very first thing to do once you've come clean.
24:39 - Is there anything men should NOT do?
25:55 - Can a relationship be better post-betrayal?
28:11 - What men can do to rebuild the relationship.
31:33 - How a relationship can be better post-healing.
34:18 - Men are taught not to feel.
35:57 - What do you tell a man who can't understand why his wife can't just 'let it go?"
37:34 - Returning for part two, When You've Been Betrayed.
39:40 - Recommended resources and how to get in touch with Vanessa

"If you don't make time for your relationship. You will be forced to make time for your loneliness" - Vanessa Cardenas

Links

Vanessa Cardenas -- https://www.understandingear.com

Talk to Vanessa -- https://www.understandingear.com/betrayed-men

Recommended books

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating -- https://amzn.to/3LAs6yP

The Gift of Fear -- https://amzn.to/4191V86

Dealing with the Devastation of Your Partners' Betrayal: What to Do When Your World Falls Apart -- https://amzn.to/42lwlEU

Dealing with the Devastation of Your Partner's Betrayal: How to Talk to Your Kids, Parents, In-Laws, Friends, and Others -- https://amzn.to/3HGcOaD

Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

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Can I Retire at 56, or Wait Until 60?