I'm so thrilled to have Dr. Kelly Flanagan back on the show. Today he is talking about his newest book The Road Less Triggered, focusing on the importance of recognizing and managing emotional triggers in relationships. The work of faith, self awareness, and compassion is vital in our relationships. Dr. Flanagan shares how to stay engaged, remain soft, and practically manage conflict in a way that brings connection to your marriage.

Episode Highlights:

Understanding Triggered Moments in Relationships

Your body is an early warning system

Living in the security of God's unconditional love provides a foundation of safety.

The posture of your heart affects how you receive communication.

Quotes from This Episode:

Most relationship conflict isn't like D-Day—it's more like Groundhog Day. We keep repeating the same patterns until we decide to break the cycle.

The heart of this work is restoring a sense of choice—the power to keep your heart open, even when you're triggered and it feels impossible.

A response is the fruit of self-regulation. A reaction is a failure of self-regulation.

You can't connect if you're protecting. Openness is required for real connection.

Our culture pushes us to blame others, but real progress comes from taking personal responsibility for how we show up.

Until we move out of being triggered and back into connection mode, we'll keep self-sabotaging every attempt to connect.

Becoming a safe environment for the people you love inspires them to open their own hearts—and builds true connection.

Seeing the ways we differ as sources of complementary wisdom, not flaws to be fixed, can revolutionize your relationship.

Questions for Conversation:

Think about a recent moment in your marriage where you felt triggered. What physical or emotional signals did your body give you, and how might noticing these earlier help you respond rather than react?
Consider a way your spouse differs from you that has caused tension. How could reframing that difference as complementary wisdom rather than a flaw shift your approach and deepen your connection?

TRIGGER CHALLENGE: Together, identify one habit or action that makes each of you feel safe and heard. Commit to practicing that habit in your interactions over the next week, then reflect on how it affected your connection.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You and your spouse differ and that's a good thing. Find out how to Celebrate Differences in Marriage, rather than allow them to divide.
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