Secret #22: Perfectionism with Dr. Z

Join hosts Emma Waddington and Chris McCurry, alongside esteemed guest Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (affectionately known as Dr. Z), as they delve deep into the intricate maze of perfectionism. Together, they unravel the complexities that drive our relentless pursuit of flawlessness and the hidden costs it entails.

Dr. Z opens the discussion by dissecting the motivations behind perfectionistic tendencies, from a profound care for one's work to the haunting fear of failure and the rigid adherence to internalized rules. As she shares fascinating insights from her clinical experience, you'll learn about the crucial need to examine these often subconscious guidelines that forge our actions and shape our lives.

The hosts also reflect on societal pressures and the intricate balance of caring for others while nurturing self-compassion. They converse about the paradox of promoting self-care when society often glorifies self-sacrifice, and Emma candidly shares her own journey toward understanding that self-kindness manifests in various, sometimes unexpected, forms.

Dr. Z advocates for a balanced approach to high achievement by laying bare a comical yet relatable anecdote about her quest for the perfect TV - a metaphorical invitation for listeners to contemplate when to aim for the stars and when 'good enough' truly suffices.

Highlights:

• Understanding Perfectionism
• The Concept of the "Maximizer"
• Self-Compassion and Self-Care
• Social and Interpersonal Perfectionism
• Radical Acceptance and Personal Values

Timestamps:

[00:00] Fear of failure and rigid rules controlling behavior.

[05:18] Understanding client's struggles, mind's protective patterns.

[10:21] Dismissing standards invalidates and fosters fear.

[12:53] Caring about values & flexibility in actions.

[15:58] Approach tasks with fear or expansion.

[18:52] Reflect on motivations driving urges and choices.

[22:49] Teenager's stress due to late-night studying.

[26:09] Helping people with self-compassion and growth.

[28:46] Prioritizing health, limitations, and pers

Struggling with your child’s big feelings? Our new children’s workbooks are here to help kids and parents handle worry, disappointment, and anger using practical, compassionate tools. Follow the journeys of Justin Case, the Glumm Twins, and Max Cross as they learn that tough emotions are normal and manageable. Find all three workbooks at bookstores everywhere and give your family the support they deserve.

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)