Relationship Strain of COVID Part 2: Fear Has Polarized Us! How to Bridge the Division with Kate Lambie, LCPC Ep. 181

In part two of our series on the relational strain of the pandemic, psychotherapist Kate Lambie joins me to share a trauma informed understanding of fear. No matter what stance we’ve taken regarding the pandemic, we’ve all felt scared at one point or another. Some of us fear the virus; others worry more about the government’s policies surrounding mandates. Either way, our sense of security has been shaken and it’s probably not hyperbolic to suggest we’ve all been somewhat traumatized.

In this conversation, Kate and I discuss the ways humans manage fear and how our differing responses may have impacted our connections to those we love most.

In particular, we discuss:

• Common reactions to fear—fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and flock—and how these responses have polarized us over the last two years.
• Stress and empathy. Spoiler alert:  they can’t coexist—which is why we can be unkind when we’re freaked out!
• Self-regulation and how it helps us move through fear and maintain intimacy with those we love.
• How trauma and fear hijack our ability to reason.
• What’s actually at the root of all our pandemic relationship dissension.

Kate and I see the pandemic from opposing vantage points. We share our personal struggle to maintain intimacy and connection during these intense past two years. Join us to hear the inside scoop—including the arguments!—of how we’ve tried to remain close despite our discrepant positions. We hope our journey will help you navigate these most challenging times. Disagreements need not pull relationships apart. In fact, healthy conflict management can increase intimacy and authentic connection.

Citations: 

- Perry, B. D., & Szalavitz, M. (2007). The boy who was raised as a dog. Basic Books.

- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202008/understanding-fight-flight-freeze-and-the-fawn-response?amp

- https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14330237.2012.10874518

Kate Lambie

Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/wild-hope-counseling-chicago-il/439158 

Instagram: @kate_lambie_lcpc

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

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