The Problem With Servant Leadership (Newsletter #81)
Oct 16, 2023
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The discussion dives into why many men abandon traditional churches for online influencers. It critiques the evangelical portrayal of masculinity as narrow and overly focused on self-sacrifice. The concept of servant leadership is reexamined, revealing how its current interpretation can devalue men's own aspirations and desires. The podcast advocates for a richer understanding of masculinity that incorporates both service and self-fulfillment, urging a shift away from outdated notions of male leadership.
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Quick takeaways
The evangelical interpretation of servant leadership constrains men to cater solely to their families, neglecting their individual ambitions and societal contributions.
Many men are disenchanted with traditional views of masculinity promoted by the church, leading them to seek more appealing narratives from online influencers.
Deep dives
The Misinterpretation of Servant Leadership
Servant leadership, often discussed in evangelical circles, is portrayed as a self-evident virtue where leaders serve others humbly. However, this concept has been distorted in how it is explained to married men, especially through the lens of complementarian theology. This interpretation implies that men’s leadership roles in marriage solely revolve around catering to the desires and needs of their wives and children, creating a one-dimensional view of their responsibilities. As a result, many men find the traditional idea of servant leadership unappealing and are increasingly drawn to alternative frameworks, such as those offered by online influencers, which present a more appealing vision of masculinity that emphasizes both strength and service to wider societal roles.
Service, Authority, and Decision-Making
The concept of service in the context of servant leadership raises critical questions about the nature of that service and who defines its parameters. Evangelical rhetoric suggests that the husband's role is to meet the needs of his wife and children, effectively limiting the scope of his authority to that of a caretaker or 'manservant.' This dynamic shifts the power of evaluation to the family members, implying that their satisfaction determines the husband’s effectiveness as a leader. Such an approach not only undermines the husband’s sense of agency but also defines leadership in terms of subservience rather than mutual respect and collaboration within familial relationships.
Mission and Broader Implications of Masculinity
The focus on servant leadership within evangelical teachings often neglects the importance of mission, resulting in a narrow definition of masculinity. Complementarianism frames men's roles primarily in relation to their wives and families, sidelining their broader goals and aspirations in the world. By equating masculinity solely with the duty to serve the household, these teachings deny men a sense of individual purpose or mission beyond familial obligations. This limitation creates a disconnect that fails to resonate with many men, who seek a more expansive vision of their contributions to society and the church, one that encompasses both support for their families and engagement in greater life missions.
Why do men turn to online influencers instead of the church? One reason is that evangelicals promote a vision of masculinity that is so bleak and unappealing it turns men off. They sum this up under the heading “servant leadership”
Properly defined I believe servant leadership is important and something we should all aspire to. But evangelicals use it as a term of art that ends up defining a man’s mission is life as catering to the needs and desires of his wife and kids.
They use a highly curated set of Bible passages and example like Jesus washing the disciples feet, while avoiding the many other examples that show other aspects of what it means to be a man or a leader.
Evangelical servant leadership is a form of radical kenosis in which a man much empty himself of all of his own desires, ambitions, mission goals, etc. in order to serve his wife. One high profile pastor all but says men are never allowed to do anything for themselves.
The evangelical view of the husband echoes the view of God in "moralist therapeutic deism" in which he is a sort of "Divine Butler and Cosmic Therapist."
In evangelical teaching, a man has no legitimate claims of his own he can assert, no legitimate desires or aspirations he can hold, no mission in the world to undertake.
Suffice it to say, the people promoting this approach to manhood don’t give off much evidence of living this way themselves.
We definitely need servant leadership. But the way they define it isn’t right. Correcting these faulty teachings on gender is one of the church’s major to-do’s in the today’s negative world.
