Toxic ruptures don’t just happen in a single moment of conflict—they are built over time through miscommunication, emotional wounds, and the silent grip of shame. Whether it’s an argument that lingers long after words have been spoken, a past hurt that keeps replaying in our minds, or a pattern of avoidance that slowly erodes trust, these ruptures are reinforced by both our interactions and our inner world.

In this episode, we dive deep into how toxic ruptures are created, not just between people, but within our own brains. We’ll explore the neuroscience behind why conflict feels overwhelming, how our nervous system’s response can make repair more difficult, and why shame keeps us stuck in cycles of blame, avoidance, or emotional withdrawal. You’ll learn how unprocessed shame distorts our perception of others, fuels resentment, and makes us more likely to repeat the same destructive patterns in relationships.

Most importantly, we’ll uncover practical strategies to stop toxic ruptures before they spiral out of control. From rewiring our emotional responses and breaking free from rumination to approaching difficult conversations with presence and repair, this episode will help you shift from unconscious creation to intentional healing. If you’ve ever felt trapped in recurring conflict or emotional disconnection, this is your guide to understanding the deeper layers of toxic ruptures—and finally learning how to heal them.

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Episode Links and References

Psalm 41:9
The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis
The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson, MD
Alan Schore
Dan Siegel - Flipping Your Lid

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