Sonia Sillan, who runs Combat Arts Academy in Seattle, joins the conversation to address the often-overlooked 'awkward turtles' in Jiu-Jitsu—those introverted and unsure students. She shares insights on building inclusive gym cultures that foster empathy and resilience. The discussion covers the importance of individualized instruction, the contrast between natural talents and regular practitioners, and how embracing losses can enhance learning. Personal anecdotes highlight the transformative power of a welcoming environment in shaping confident, committed practitioners.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Kid's Instinctive Breakfall
Sonia's 3-year-old daughter instinctively performed a shoulder roll and Spider-Man pose when she fell from a couch.
This shows the value of jujitsu's breakfall training even in everyday accidents.
insights INSIGHT
Gym Culture Neglects Beginners
Many gyms lack empathy and do not make introverted or new students feel welcomed.
Coaches often neglect fundamental classes, sending signals that some members are less valued.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Coach Intro Classes Personally
Coaches should personally handle intro and beginner classes to control the narrative and make new students feel safe.
Repeating names and encouraging partner recognition builds trust and inclusivity.
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In this episode of BJJ Mental Models, Steve Kwan welcomes back Sonia Sillan from Combat Arts Academy to explore the concept of the “awkward turtles:” the introverted, unsure, or atypical students who often feel like outsiders in Jiu-Jitsu. Sonya unpacks how gym culture, coaching priorities, and interpersonal communication affect whether these students feel welcome or alienated. Together, they discuss how creating an inclusive, empathetic training environment isn’t just good for business; it’s essential for building resilient practitioners and a healthy mat culture. This conversation offers a roadmap for coaches and students alike to rethink how they engage with the most vulnerable members of their gym.
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