*This episode contains content that may be triggering for some listeners.*

Have you ever had a moment where you plastered on a smile, carried on through your day as if everything was perfectly okay, but really on the inside you were hurting? It’s okay to have sorrow, and it doesn’t mean we are cut off from joy in the midst of it. In the Psalms, David reminds us that God reveals joy during all the ups and downs of our lives. “You make known to me the path of life,” David prays, “in Your presence there is fullness of joy.” [Psalm 16:11]

Molly Stillman is an author, speaker, blogger, and podcast host who leans toward the brighter side of life and wants to bring that joy to others. The daughter of a nurse who served in Vietnam, Molly’s mother championed for the rights of women veterans all while battling alcoholism and addiction. Molly witnessed her mother’s powerful influence, despite her afflictions, and would come to know what it was like to hold both joy and grief in her heart as she navigated life after her mother’s death. Jeanine Amapola is a speaker and influencer who battled alcohol addiction and toxic relationships. At her lowest point, she wasn’t sure she’d ever feel joy again, but the healing began as she connected with a community of women who had experienced some of her same hardships.

Links, Products, and Resources Mentioned:

Jesus Calling Podcast

Jesus Calling

Jesus Always

Jesus Listens

Past interview: Jen Lilley

Upcoming interview: Andre Ward

PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Vietnam Veterans Association

Home Before Morning

pulmonary edema

collagen vascular autoimmune disease

Proverbs 17:22 NIV

If I Don’t Laugh, I’ll Cry

Jeanine Amapola

Ecclesiastes 4:9 NIV

Becoming Happy and Healthy

Interview Quotes:

“A lot of veterans today say that women veterans have access to a lot of the things that they have access to because of the advocacy and trail that my mom blazed. And I got to be a front row witness to all of this.” - Molly Stillman

“I wasn't walking with Jesus in any way, shape, or form, so I had no solid foundation on which to place anything in my life. And so everything I had built and was continuing to build, was just on very, very loose sand that had no firm foundation.” - Molly Stillman

“The shame and the embarrassment, the guilt, that washed over me felt like I had a ton of bricks on my chest and my shoulders. It was devastating to find myself in this position and to just feel that level of condemnation towards myself.” - Molly Stillman

“I walked through the doors of a church and I heard that there was a God in heaven who created me on purpose, with a purpose, for a purpose, that He loved me just as I am, that He’d forgiven me of the mistakes that I made, and that there was hope to be found in Him. And so I walked out of those doors that day with hope. And that is a powerful, powerful thing when you are hopeless.” - Molly Stillman

“People that say that God doesn't have a sense of humor clearly don't read the same Bible I do, or have the same relationship with God that I do.” - Molly Stillman

“I found myself floating around and just looking for affirmation in all the wrong places. And because I had such a severe, severe disdain for myself and a low self-worth, I went to all these other places to try and find confidence and identity and worth and value.” - Jeanine Amapola

“I just remember feeling, Man, there's got to be more. I'm not happy. I'm trying to connect with God. I keep going back to my old ways. I keep making bad decisions. I hate my body. I don't like myself.” - Jeanine Amapola

“God did not design us to be alone. He literally says, ‘It is not good for man to be alone,’ and so we should pay attention to that. If God says that, then why are we surprised when we're alone, and all of a sudden we're facing all this insecurity and anxiety and depression and doubt and all these lies, and we're feeling lackluster and lukewarm in our faith? Why are we surprised?” - Jeanine Amapola

“If you're wanting to have a good friend, you should also be a good friend. I think it's important to surround yourself with people that inspire you, that are also places that you want to be, that are going to live life in such a way that you're like, Wow, that motivates me to want to look more like Jesus.” - Jeanine Amapola