In this episode of Bulletproof Radio, instead of suggesting another “to-do” list, we’re looking at “to-don’t” lists. That’s right, subtracting things from your likely already-too-full life in order to make room for more ways you can be mentally strong, happy and successful.

Amy Morin is the bestselling author of three books about “13 Things” you don’t want to do that can actually increase your mental strength and help you perform optimally at everything you do. She’s a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and psychology professor who shared her own life story of adversity and becoming mentally strong in a TEDx talk (record-setting views), then a blog post (went viral), then three books on the subject—for people, for parents, for women.

A few of the “13 Things” discussed in today’s episode include:

How to recognize when you’re the only guest at your own pity party;
How to know when your risk-taking isn’t based on logic;
How to embrace vulnerability; and
How gender constructs of strength are often culture-specific.

And the biggie for everyone? Power. “Taking back your power is about acknowledging that you're in control of your time, you're in control of how you think, how you feel, and how you behave,” Amy says.

If you want to learn the single most important thing that mentally strong people don't do, listen to this episode.

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