The podcast discusses the rise of non-monogamous relationships and the cultural factors behind it. It explores the biblical view of sex and the impact of denigrating the sanctity of marriage. The church's approach to marriage and the need to offer an alternative vision are also discussed.
The acceptance of non-monogamous relationships and the changing perception of marriage are linked to a broader cultural shift towards a radical individualistic mindset, emphasizing personal desires as the ultimate guiding factors in decision-making.
The church should update its approach to discussing marriage by casting a compelling vision for holy matrimony rooted in commitment, intimacy, and the celebration of sex within the confines of marriage, providing a compelling alternative that appeals to the innate longing for love and connection.
Deep dives
The Rise of Polyamory and Open Relationships
Polyamory and open relationships are becoming more mainstream and are being discussed openly in culture. This has led to a shift in the understanding and perception of marriage and commitment. While these relationships are not new, the current cultural context has created an environment where non-monogamous relationships are increasingly accepted. The rise of the hookup culture and the emphasis on individualism have contributed to this shift. Generation Z, in particular, embraces sexual fluidity and resists being labeled. However, it is important to recognize that non-monogamous relationships can have negative consequences, such as power imbalances, jealousy, and the potential for partners to prioritize other relationships over the primary one. It is crucial to understand the importance of commitment and the protective bond that marriage provides in order to maintain healthy relationships.
The Changing Perception of Marriage
The perception of marriage has undergone significant changes in recent years. Society's view of marriage has shifted from a sacred and lifelong commitment to a more individualistic and flexible arrangement. Marriage is increasingly seen as an arbitrary certificate or a legal matter rather than a holy matrimony. The celebration of marriage has become more focused on personal desires, self-fulfillment, and social constructs, rather than the recognition of a supernatural union between two individuals. This cultural shift has resulted in a declining regard for the institution of marriage, with many considering it outdated and unnecessary. The devaluation of marriage not only undermines the concept of commitment but also has potential negative impacts on women and children. It is important for the church to reclaim the biblical understanding of marriage and highlight its significance as a sacred bond.
The Ethical Dilemma and Slippery Slope
The acceptance of non-monogamous relationships and the changing perception of marriage are linked to a broader cultural shift towards a radical individualistic mindset. This mindset emphasizes personal desires and self-fulfillment as the ultimate guiding factors in decision-making. The argument that personal desires and attractions should dictate one's actions can lead to a slippery slope where boundaries become blurred. The example of the LGBTQ+ movement is often mentioned in this context, as the argument of 'this is who I am, and therefore I should be affirmed' is extended to other forms of sexual desire. The danger lies in the lack of a transcendent ethic or moral standard to apply universally. This radical individualism allows for the continual shifting of boundaries, potentially leading to morally problematic behaviors. It is crucial to recognize the broader implications and potential harm that can arise from solely pursuing personal desires.
Casting a Vision for Holy Matrimony
In light of the cultural shifts surrounding non-monogamous relationships and the devaluation of marriage, the church must update its approach to discussing marriage. Rather than simply denouncing or dismissing alternative relationship structures, the church should cast a compelling vision for holy matrimony. This vision should emphasize the biblical understanding of marriage as a supernatural union between Jesus and the church, the foundational institution of society, and the culmination of all time. By emphasizing the sacred nature of marriage and presenting an alternative vision rooted in commitment, intimacy, and the celebration of sex within the confines of marriage, the church can invite individuals to consider a higher and more fulfilling way of living. This approach not only avoids mere condemnation but provides a compelling alternative that appeals to the innate longing for love, connection, and permanence within the human heart.
In this week's conversation between Dr. James Emery White and co-host Alexis Drye, they discuss a recent New York Magazine article titled “A Practical Guide to Modern Polyamory.” This article was what prompted Dr. White to write a blog on this topic titled “The Swinging Twenties,” as well as today's podcast conversation. Polyamory is defined as having multiple, intimate relationships with consent from all parties involved. To use the question posed by the NYMag, “What can go wrong?” A lot, actually.
Episode Links
For starters, a fascinating article in The Wall Street Journal titled “How the Sexual Revolution Has Hurt Women” researched how “the free-marketization of sex” has truly gone mainstream and is only serving to harm women - and even children as well. It's worth the time to read the full article.
Much of this cultural change has to do with how Generation Z views sex and sexuality. In his book Meet Generation Z: Understanding and Reaching the New Post-Christian World (which you can find on Amazon HERE), Dr. White wrote about how one of the defining marks of Gen Z is that they consider themselves sexually fluid. This is why 30% of them identify as LGBTQ+. They also view marriage as outdated and too expensive (see an article in The Messenger), and certainly not what the Bible defines as holy matrimony.
It's the denigrating view of the sanctity of marriage that is causing a host of issues, and something that the church needs to address. Dr. White has delivered a number of series on marriage at Mecklenburg Community Church. We'd specifically recommend a series titled “Holy Matrimony” as it relates to this conversation, but you can also find his other series on marriage and family HERE.
Finally, Dr. White mentioned a book written by Philip Yancey titled Fearfully and Wonderfully Made where the author looks at the intricacies of the human body, including the wonder and beauty of God's creation when it comes to sex.
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