Making Family Part 3: Stepmom and Stepfamily Success Strategies

Stepfamily and Stepmom success strategies, based on research and clinical practice of my guest Dr. Patricia Papernow, and (in this twofer episode), the support groups and stepmom coaching of Nathalie Savell. We include some data from Wednesday Martin's great book Stepmonster. This is the last on in the series on how we make families now, 

42% of Americans have a close stepfamily relationship- and yet the research on how to blend well- and the emotional skills to do so- aren't very well known- so we make avoidable mistakes. But with research, that's changing. Join The Rose Woman, Christine as she continues this month's series on making families. This week, we are joined by 2 amazing guests who will talk about success strategies in having a stepfamily and being a stepmom. 

In this episode, we cover:

• Differences in structure between having a first-time family and blended families
• Blended families
• Differences in being a mother and stepmother and their relationships with the kids
• How we support children
• Selfcare and boundaries
• Understanding the role of the Parent in the middle of the two spouses
• Understanding parents of adult kids who recouple at a later age, how do each side cope
• How did Nathalie get interested in the subject of Step-Parenting
• What is a Step-mom coach and how does Nathalie work with women
• Challenges of stepparenting
• The transition to being a stepmom
• Relating to Biomoms

Our first guest for this topic is Dr. Patricia Papernow, an internationally recognized expert on “blended families.” Now entering her fifth decade of researching, working with and teaching about stepfamilies, all over the U.S. and the world. She is the author of the leading books in the field as well as dozens of articles and book chapters. For her work, she has received the Society Couple and Family Psychology Society award for Distinguished Contribution to Family Psychology. 

Our second guest is stepmom coach and pastoral counselor Nathalie Savell, a biological mom of 2 kids ages 6 and 1, Stepmother to an 11-year-old, dog mother to an elderly pug mutt, Coach, and mental health therapist. She is passionate about empowering women to have healthy relationships with themselves, other people, food, sex, and work. She approaches her work with a holistic perspective and believes strongly in the importance of integrating the mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, relational, and cultural aspects of ourselves. She currently sees individuals virtually one-on-one for both therapy and coaching including Step-moms, entrepreneurs, and creative leaders. She believes in the healing nature of possibility, authenticity, and self-acceptance, and that sometimes you just need to dance and sing to feel better!

Helpful Links:

• Dr. Patricia Papernow - Visit her website for lots of radio interviews and videos. A great resource for those who want solid research-based guidance. If you, or someone you’re close to, don’t like to read, it’s a gold mine of good helpful stuff. She is also the Author of 2 books on Stepfamilies: 

• Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t is the go-to resource for stepfamily members and therapists. Surviving and Thriving was written for both therapists and stepfamily members. It delves much more deeply into both the practical and emotional journey of forming a healthy stepfamily. It has been translated into Japanese and Russian, and soon, Dutch and Hungarian. Buy this book on Amazon

• The Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating to Getting Serious to Forming a “Blended Family” was co-authored with post-divorce co-parenting coach Karen Bonnell. As the title suggests, TSH offers step-by-step guidance from early dating with children on board, to stepfamily-dom. It was written for the public in breezy language. Buy this book on Amazon

• Nathalie Savell - Visit her website to learn more of her coaching services. Visit this link to join her Virtual Step-mom group. Get face-to-face with other Stepmamas who understand your journey Also, check out this link, to join her Therapeutic Hiking Group for women on a path to health in mind, body, and spirit while navigating adulthood. 

          Check out her Facebook | Instagram

• Stepmonster book by Wednesday Martin - A unique book for women with stepchildren, men with children of any age who repartner, adult stepchildren, and anyone who knows and cares about a woman with stepchildren. It is a reconsideration of stepfamily dynamics…from the perspective of the stepmother.

• Silversurfers.com - Largest dating site for over 50+ years old

Find Rosebud Woman on Instagram as @rosebudwoman and Christine on Instagram as @the.rose.woman

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