The Evergetinos: Book Two - Part XXXIV, Part I

The desert fathers were incredibly sensitive to the simple things in life that we often take for granted; the ways that we speak with others and treat them. In this sense, they were psychologically astute; realizing that in the warp and woof of day-to-day life, it is often the small things that affect relationships the most and so also a place where we are provoked to sin. We often describe these aspects of our life as normal or natural; that is, being human. Yet, even that which is good must be perfected by the grace of God for it can be corrupted if the heart is impure or lacking in charity.

Thus, without hesitation, the fathers can say “there is no passion, more terrible than familiarity, for it gives rise to all the other passions.“ At first this might seem to be hyperbole. Familiarity seems to be an essential part of relationships and intimacy. What the fathers discovered, however, is that it can break down the reverence, dignity and meekness with which we engage others. The more that we are around a person we begin to think that we can take liberties and dispense with courteousness and tenderness in speech. We can use our intimate knowledge of others to tear them down or to gain a position of emotional power within the relationship. What has been entrusted to us as precious can be used in ways that inflict emotional wounds.

Similarly laughter is seen as a natural part and perhaps one of the best parts of our lives. Humor often is the means through which we are able to cope with a harshness of life. It seems to lighten the spirit. However, it can often devolve into buffoonery; nothing is taken serious at all, and humor is used to mock the others. Such laughter then makes us lose sight of the dignity of the other and more importantly makes us lose sight of their dignity as sons and daughters of God. We feel that we are liberty to make fun of them or to laugh at their misfortune. 

Our consideration of these things shows us how important it is for us to have the mind of Christ. We are to live in Him and it is His grace that must shape all of our actions. There is only one appropriate way for us to relate to another person and that is to love them!

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Text of chat during the group:

00:03:56 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Page 266

00:06:34 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Hypothesis XXXIV

00:15:52 Adam Paige: I found the groups via a friend who shared a Sensus Fidelium YouTube repost of a podcast

00:16:59 Myles Davidson: Pg 266 Hypothesis XXXIV

00:17:18 Catherine Opie: That's why its important to make sure people who find you on Social Media are funnelled to your website and you get their email addresses so you can contact them direct. Via a download of a free pdf of something like that.

00:23:52 Forrest Cavalier: Wikipedia has a page with the root word in Greek. The Wikipedia page defines it as parrhesia (Greek: παρρησία) is candid speech, speaking freely.[1] It implies not only freedom of speech, but the obligation to speak the truth for the common good, even at personal risk.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parrhesia

00:24:43 Rev. Andrew: Often times in troubled marriages the spouses lose that kind of respect and mindfulness that was there when they were dating.

00:25:12 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "Often times in troub..." with 👍🏼

00:29:35 Una: Yeah, this kind of familiarity can lead to abuse, especially verbal/psychological abuse

00:30:36 Anthony: This reminds me of Rocky, the painful scene where Paulie verbally disrespects his sister Adrian at their home during the holidays.

00:32:02 Rick Visser: In familiarity we are no longer able to see the face of Christ in their face. The entire sacred dimension of life is drained of its life.

00:33:29 Una: Is there a good side to familiarity?

00:33:45 Julie: Do you think it is a danger getting too close to others. Is there a limit with what you share or guard.?

00:35:25 Una: Difference between fraternity and familiarity?

00:35:28 Una: Difference between fraternity and familiarity?

00:39:14 Anthony: This self exposure is the culture of evangelicalism.  It was at my alma mater, Liberty University.

00:40:45 Bob Čihák, AZ: I'm finding my most fruitful way to know Christ seems to be seeing and finding Christ in other people, usually male friends. How does or should this sense of respect and comfort with others differ from familiarity?

00:40:51 Rev. Andrew: Reacted to "This self exposure i…" with 👍

00:42:02 Una: Can this familiarity dynamic be different in a male/female relationship or friendship? How to guard against this

00:43:44 Catherine Opie: Psycho drama

00:47:17 Rick Visser: Serve tea to all without familiarity. Some small degree of ceremoniousness in all our interactions.

00:48:33 Una: Special pitfalls in male/female dynamics?

00:48:43 Una: Beyond the obvious (sexual temptation)

00:51:39 Rick Visser: Humility

00:55:23 Una: Reacted to "Serve tea to all w..." with 👍

00:57:12 Forrest Cavalier: One of our children wrote an essay on the use of the Latin words for LAUGH (ridere) in St. Augustine’s confessions for an upper level Latin course in college. In short, there are very few legitimate occasions to laugh that are rightly ordered spiritually. Almost always there is a pride and superiority at root, at the expense of someone.

00:57:38 Catherine Opie: Reacted to "One of our children ..." with 👍🏻

01:00:47 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "One of our children ..." with 👍🏼

01:02:11 Rev. Andrew: In the spiritual life this applies to. We are so familiar with God we miss times of prayer, attendance of worship, etc.

01:02:32 Catherine Opie: Reacted to "In the spiritual lif..." with ❤️

01:02:57 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "In the spiritual lif..." with 😢

01:04:05 Anthony: I'm one of those people who tries way too hard in things.  Can I adopt an attitude of kind simplicity and be ok in the spiritual life?

01:06:01 Rick Visser: Late night TV -- who is the most clever in laughing at others.

01:06:19 Lee Graham: Reacted to "In the spiritual lif…" with ❤️

01:08:45 Myles Davidson: Germans have a word for delight in the downfall of others… schadenfreude

01:10:36 Una: Like this couple that got caught on the camera. We should be praying for their conversaion. Severe mercy that they were caught

01:13:18 Rick Visser: Reverence, dignity, and meekness - Confucius knew how this is tied to ceremoniousness.

01:13:52 Nypaver Clan: Where is the place for fraternal correction?

01:14:24 Forrest Cavalier: The second to last verb in #5 in greek is HUBRIS. ὑβρίζῃ

01:14:40 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "The second to last v..." with 👍🏼

01:17:14 Forrest Cavalier: This was a fascinating hour1

01:17:22 Myles Davidson: Reacted to "This was a fascinati..." with 👍

01:17:42 David Fraley: This gave me a lot to think about. Thank you, Father!

01:18:00 Maureen Cunningham: Thank You Blessing

01:18:02 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️

01:18:11 Janine: Thank you Father!

01:18:12 Catherine Opie: Thank you God Bless

01:18:22 Una: Thank you. Great class

01:18:31 Rick Visser: Thank you Father!

01:19:10 Nypaver Clan: You’ll get over it…..

01:19:33 Catherine Opie: If those people really value the material they will look for you

01:19:45 Myles Davidson: Reacted to "If those people real..." with 👍

01:19:53 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "If those people real..." with 👍🏼

01:20:11 Una: Missing those dopamine hits

01:20:27 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "Missing those dopami..." with 😂

01:20:27 Maureen Cunningham: Bless REN

01:20:28 Una: It's real and it's touch

01:20:36 Una: tough

01:21:25 Catherine Opie: Time wasting

01:22:05 Catherine Opie: Great move Fr.